Catch me when I fall
by onlyone87
Summary: Set in 5.12. Peyton stops the wedding in a way she never could have predicted. Leyton.
1. Save you

**A/N: Hey... so this story was whirling around my head and refused to leave. It will only be a few chapters long though. Anyone reading my other story, please don't be annoyed that I got sidetracked because I'm updating it in the next few days. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Still owning nothing at all. Song by Simple Plan.**

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**SAVE YOU**

**xx**

_Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there's so many things that I want you to know  
I wont give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know_

_That if you fall, stumble down  
I'll pick you up off the ground  
If you lose faith in you  
I'll give you strength to pull through  
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall  
You know I'll be there for you_

Peyton Sawyer should have been great. Over the years, she had heard that sentiment more times then she could count. However it seemed the harder she tried the harder she fell… and this always happened. Years ago, she had someone to catch her though... but now she was no longer his to save.

Four years it had taken her to realise that she was failing... and only a few weeks to start succeeding. Of course she knew the reason. After all he may not love her anymore but he did still believe in her. By giving her the office space, he had given her the inspiration she had needed to begin her destiny.

The problem was she could not be great... not truly... without him. She yearned for him to be hers but she was, as always too late. He may have given her half of her dream but he had also taken away the second part. She would never be Mrs Lucas Scott.

No... The woman before her now fulfilled that dream. The one who had taken her place and filled his heart.

_Breathe in... Breathe out... Breathe in... Breathe out... Breathe in._

It was a ridiculous mantra she knew, but sitting here even the simplest of motions was beginning to become impossible. This was all wrong... he was wrong. The anger rose up inside her and she glared at the back of the man who owned her heart. She should not be here... hell she should never have been invited. He was cruel suggesting that she watch from the sidelines as her heart broke.

She could not deny him, so she did what she had managed to perfect over the years. She buried her feelings and told him she would let go. Once again, her happiness was pushed to the side for Lucas.

The anger subsided and a lump formed in her throat. It was not fair... why was it her life, which always seemed to fall apart? Obviously, she was destined to be alone. Glancing down she watched a hand enter her line of vision and grab hold of her restless fingers.

"It's okay", Brooke whispered clutching Peyton's hand tightly in her own.

Fearing the possibility of her voice breaking Peyton simply nodded. She was lying to her friends. She was not okay... it was not okay. That man on the alter had promised her forever and had lied. He could not wait for her when she had waited for him for years. He had dated her best friend and she had pretended to be alright.

Her thoughts were beginning too tire her... she needed to rest. Maybe after this day was over she might join Mia on tour. That could help her heal. She just needed time away from him. Although if three years apart had not healed her heart it was likely that a few months would not work.

Putting her head down she closed her eyes and began the mantra again. It was something to take her thoughts away. Hopefully, if everything went to plan and Brooke had kept her promise... this would all be over soon. The minuets slowly passed by as she waited for the moment that would signal the end. The final chapter in the everlasting saga of Peyton and Lucas.

Suddenly the priest began to speak and she sighed quietly. Maybe this entire ceremony would give her, her moment of clarity. The point when her heart realised that it was just a guy. That it really would be okay.

As the words echoed loudly around the church, she kept her head lowered. Just because she had attended did not mean she had to watch. With her eyes still tightly closed, she began to wish for a miracle. It might not be too late.

"Lucas Eugene Scott do you take Lindsey Evelyn Strauss to be your lawfully wedded wife. Do you..."

_**xx**_

_As the vowels sounded out her head snapped up. Who needed to wait for miracles? She had once said it was not what you say, it was what you do. Well now was her time to act. It was not over yet._

_Jumping up from her seat, she shook of Brooke's hand that tried to pull her back down._

_"Lucas you can't", she said as everyone began to turn their attention towards her._

_"That's what I'm talking about", Skills said uncaring of how it may have sounded as he nodded at her actions._

_Taking a deep breath Peyton looked at the man who held her life and heart in his hands. There was so much to say and her mind was whirring. Focusing on him, she stuttered her words,_

_I'm sorry... I'm sorry but you... but you just can't because I love you and... because you fixed my car"._

_"Oh boy", Brooke sighed turning to look at Mouth. This was not good._

_Ignoring her friend's words, she kept her gaze on Lucas._

_"... Do you remember that day, because that day changed everything and I just... I didn't know it at the time, but you fixed my car, you fixed my heart... and when you proposed to me two years ago I just wasn't ready... and I was lost and scared and I said someday. But someday's now Luke, it is. Someday is now and I love you... please don't leave me again... people always leave."_

_**xx**_

As she uttered the final words, the priest spoke again and she was brought back. Looking up sharply she took in her surroundings. She was still seated... it had been her imagination. That's what she should have said though. She should have made one last effort... had one last fight. Instead she did nothing... she simply watched as her dream moved further away and the man she would love forever choose another woman.

Then he spoke... the infamous words that showed his love left his lips.

"I do".

And that was that... it was over. Yet still there was no moment of clarity. As her hope faded and her heart broke, her breathing began to become more erratic. Everyone around her seemed to be moving on and finding their dream while she was stuck.

Her chest tightened and an ache spread from her abdomen. Something was wrong. In her life, she had felt more then enough grief but this was different. Panic began to set in and she closed her eyes, squeezing Brooke's hand. The action failed and she started to feel light-headed.

Leaning forward she dropped her friends hand and began to massage her aching temples. Her entire body hurt as the pain in her abdomen and head intensified. She had awoken this morning with a headache but it had started to go... now it returned in full force.

"Peyton", Brooke said worriedly leaning forward to touch her arm.

Slowly Peyton stood as her breathing still came in ragged breaths. She needed to get out of here and go home. The pain caused her to stumble and she failed to notice the ceremony stop.

"What wrong", Skills said standing and holding onto her arm to steady her. She had not even realised she was swaying.

Looking up at him, she clutched her stomach as her still ragged breathing made her feel faint.

"I... can't... breath", she managed to get out between gasps. She was frightened now, as her body seemed to be failing her.

"Peyton", someone shouted. The words barely registered in her mind as her head pounded loudly.

Running down the steps that led from the alter Lucas began to push through the crowd as Haley and Nathan followed. Finally reaching her, he watched helplessly as she fell to the floor.

"Call an ambulance", Brooke cried as she moved towards Peyton. Kneeling down she gently lifted the woman's head and placed it in her lap. With one hand, she stroked her friend's cheek whispering to her softly.

"Peyton... you need to stay awake okay."

Peyton's breathing was beginning to slow down but the pain was just as intense. Her eyelids began to flutter shut as she started to lose consciousness.

Dropping to his knees beside the fallen woman Lucas lifted her hand and held it tightly.

"Peyton", he said sadly.

With her last remaining strength, she turned to the man beside her.

"Luke..." she whispered tiredly. Trailing off she lost her battle to stay awake and her eyes closed.

The look of fright on her face panicked Lucas and reminded him of the only other time he had seen it. The library.

With that memory playing in his mind he turned to his brother noticing the orders Nathan was barking down the phone. Hearing a sob from Brooke his gaze flickered back to the two women. With his free hand he pushed the hair from Peyton's face and leant forward,

"Come on Blondie... you need to open your eyes."

Not receiving a response he realised he was not particularly expecting one. Frustrated he looked back at Nathan,

"Where's the ambulance?"

"They said 10 minuets" he sighed.

"Luke she's burning up?" Brooke cried taking his attention from his brother.

Spinning quickly he glanced back at Peyton and made a decision.

"Right..." he muttered.

Letting go of his hold on her hand, Lucas slipped his arm underneath her legs and placed the other beneath her shoulder blades. With a nod of his head, he signalled to Brooke to release her hold on her friend. Slowly he stood making sure to be careful not to drop her. As he straightened, he was surprised at how little she actually weighed. The woman had always been light but this was ridiculous. Shifting her slightly in his arms, he began to walk to the doors.

"Luke where are you going... the ambulance is coming", Haley, said walking slowly behind him.

Stopping he turned and answered his oldest friend.

"I'm taking her to the hospital the ambulance will take to long".

"Lucas", Lindsey cried stepping through the crowd of friends to look at her fiancé.

"Look I was almost too late last time".

"For what?" she asked frustrated.

"To save her... in the library. Not this time though."

Shaking his head he turned back to the door as Brooke held it open. Nathan was already outside with the keys to the car in his hand. As they made their way down the steps, Haley turned to Skills, Mouth and Millicent.

"Could you bring Jamie in the other car"?

Nodding Skills picked Jamie up and went to the van the group had arrived in.

Reaching the car Lucas slid into the backseat with Brooke next to him. In front, Haley sat in the passenger seat while Nathan chose to drive. His mind was racing. This woman he held in his arms held more of his heart then he cared to realise. Ignoring the fact that he had left his own wedding to help her, he clasped her hand tightly.

He could not lose her. He knew for a fact that if he did he would lose himself as well.

**xx**

_Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I wont give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know_

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**Tell me what you think.**


	2. Please

**A/N: Okay... wow... I'm amazed at the amount of reviews and story alerts I have for only chapter. Thank you. Seeing as how everyone wanted an update here it is, much quicker then it was meant to be. I just hope this chapter lives up to the last one. ****Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned... again. Song by Prime Sth.**

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**PLEASE**

**xx**

_If you go away I will follow you  
What can I say? What else can I do?  
_

_Please don't leave  
Why can't you see  
Without you my world will fall apart_

_If you fade away I'll follow you  
Into decay, what else can I do?_

_Please don't leave  
Why can't you see  
Without you my world will fall apart  
Why can't you see  
Without you I am nothing at all _

_... BEEP..._

_... BEEP..._

_... BEEP..._

_... BEEP ..._

_... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....................._

_"WE'RE LOSING HER."_

_"GET THE CRASH CART."_

_"CLEAR ..."_

_That sound... it signalled the fight ending. She was dying. Whipping his head up Lucas stood quickly and ran to the door. Reaching the room he was blocked by a nurse who moved to stand before him and ushered him back. As a doctor shouted for assistance, the woman turned and ran towards the bed letting the door close behind her._

_Helplessly Lucas stepped forward and pressed himself against the glass. He could feel his body beginning to shake as the fear overwhelmed him. _

_The electric pulses were lifting her body from the table as the paddles laid on her chest. Leaning his head against the cold window Lucas closed his eyes. Tears began to fall down his cheeks as he pounded his fists against the door._

_He could not lose her... especially as she had no idea about how he felt. The guilt over his treatment of her for the past few months tore into his heart. He had broken her and now she was letting go. _

_She may be willing to let go... but he was not. A new wave of strength coursed through him as he made a decision. Opening his eyes, he pushed the door open and ran to the bed. Fighting off the nurses that tried to grab him he clutched onto her arms and shook her._

_"Fight... Peyton please... fight"._

_Shouting the words, he just hoped she could hear him. Suddenly strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him back. Resuming his actions, the doctor pressed the paddles back to her chest. _

_"Clear"._

_Wincing as the loud, wailing 'beep' continued Lucas struggled against the security man. He needed to save her. It was what he did. Lucas Scott always saved Peyton Sawyer. _

_As if the scene suddenly shifted into slow motion, he watched as the Doctor let the paddles fall and began to shake his head._

_"Call it". He said sadly deliberately avoiding the distraught man to the side._

_"Time of death 3.25."_

_Hearing the words Lucas felt his knees give way and he collapsed to the floor. Leaning forward he pounded his fists onto the floor ignoring the apologies of the hospital staff around him. Letting out his anguish his breathing became erratic and it took some time for him to gain control. Never before had his grief been so consuming. Finally, he managed to calm himself enough to stand and walk slowly to the bed._

_There she lay, looking as if she was sleeping. His Peyton. The girl who had taken his heart as a child and never returned it. Reaching out a hand, he stroked her still warm cheek as a fresh wave of tears rolled down his cheeks. His grief turned into anger as he stared at her now lifeless body._

_Clutching her arms again, he pulled her up and into his embrace holding onto her tightly. With his hand buried into her hair, he cried into her neck fearing he may never stop. _

_"Peyton... you promised to love me forever... you can't leave me", he whispered brokenly._

_Pulling away slightly he furrowed his brow as he heard someone calling him._

_"Luke... Lucas"._

**xx**

Sitting up Lucas looked around wildly taking in his surroundings. It had been a dream. That meant she was still with him. Reaching a hand up he wiped his eyes tiredly noticing the slight dampness on his cheeks. He had been crying. Hoping nobody had noticed he lowered his head continuing to dry the tear tracks with his hand.

"Luke".

"Yeah", he said turning to gaze tiredly at his best friend.

"It will be okay".

Confused by Haley's words he looked at her questioningly.

"You were mumbling in your sleep." She stated, deliberately leaving out the tears she had seen falling from his closed eyes.

"Oh", he uttered quietly looking away embarrassed.

Sensing his discomfort Haley grabbed his hand and clutched it tightly.

"Why don't you go home for a while... rest... you need to talk to Lindsey. I promise I'll call you..."

"I can't", he said interrupting her.

"Luke..."

Suddenly the doors opened and a Doctor approached effectively halting Haley's argument. Standing quickly Lucas prepared to question the approaching man; however, the brown-haired woman who ran past him stopped his actions.

"Is she okay... what's wrong with her?" Brooke said firing questions at the man, tear stains still evident on her face.

Sighing the Doctor looked down at his notes and then gazed at the woman. He hated this part... the refusal of information never went down well.

"I can only release information to... "

"I'm her emergency contact... Brooke Davis", she interrupted, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Oh", he uttered. That was definitely easier then he had predicted.

"Now we've worked out who I am can you please tell me what is wrong with my friend?"

"Will she be okay", Haley said grabbing hold of Brooke's hand to calm her. It looked like the woman was about to inflict bodily harm on the man before them.

"Yes... in a few days she'll be back to normal."

"What happened to her", Brooke asked.

"It seems that Miss Sawyer is suffering from dehydration, which would have been the cause for the head and abdominal pain. As for her collapse that was probably due to stress and exhaustion. Couple that with the erratic breathing she experienced and she lost consciousness."

Nodding Brooke took all of the information in and felt a small amount of relief. For a moment she was sure she may lose her friend. Silently she promised herself that when Peyton was better she was going to make her pay for all of this worry.

"Did the stress cause the breathing problem", Lucas asked moving closer to the Doctor.

"Yes about that... has Miss Sawyer experienced any traumatic experiences in the last few days... something that could result in causing a panic attack?"

"She's had a tough week". Brooke answered. She knew what the problem had been, but she did not want Peyton to be embarrassed when she awoke. Especially seeing as the cause of the problem was standing beside her.

Noticing the sudden awkwardness settling over the group the Doctor nodded. He had enough experience to know when it was best to leave alone.

"Okay... well she isn't awake at the moment but of course the sooner she comes around the better. However, she will need some help for a few days to make sure she doesn't relapse. Does she live with anyone?"

"She lives with me..."

"We'll all help as well", Nathan said, speaking for the first time since they had entered the waiting room.

"That's good, the more help she has the better. This is for you Miss Davies...," he said handing Brooke a piece of paper.

"... it's a list of things that you need to ensure she does. We cannot have her neglecting herself and collapsing again. Also I'm putting Miss Sawyer on a course of vitamin supplements to help her gain her strength."

"Don't worry when I get her home she's not leaving my sight".

Chuckling at the protectiveness of his patient the Doctor nodded, "Yes well hopefully she will be able to go home tomorrow. As soon as she wakes up, we'll begin monitoring her. It looks like she's got more then enough people to look after her... are there any more questions?"

"Can we see her", Haley asked.

"Yes that's fine... but if she wakes up you must attract a nurse immediately."

Seeing the collective nods from the group before him, the Doctor smiled and turned to leave. As soon as he had left the room, the uncomfortable silence settled over the group once more. Rolling her eyes Brooke sighed. She was going to hate herself for this... but she had a feeling he needed to do it.

"Lucas... do you want to see her first?" she asked.

Looking up from his staring contest with the ground Lucas rubbed the back of his neck.

"Look as much as I want you away from her... you saved her and I think you need to see her. Plus we all know she would want you there, anyway if she wakes and tells me you said something mean… I will kill you."

Glancing around he noticed the pointed looks everyone seemed to be giving him. She was right though, he did want to see Peyton. Nodding slowly he gave Brooke a half smile and stepped towards the doors.

"Thanks Brooke".

"Oh and Broody." Grabbing his attention before he left Brooke continued, "You might have saved Peyton... but who's going to save you".

Not replying Lucas left the room and walked towards the woman he needed in his life. It was obvious though to the others that Brookes words had been heard. Moving to the door, he rested his fingers on the handle and paused. He needed to gather his thoughts together before he could continue. That dream had been so vivid and now he was scared at the possibility of setting eyes on her. Breathing in deeply for a moment he slowly pushed the wooden barrier inwards and stepped into the room.

His gaze instantly sought out her unconscious form and his step faltered momentarily. She looked so vulnerable. The whiteness of the bed sheets made her usually healthy complexion seem dull and grey. Recovering from the small setback due to shock, he continued towards the chair and sat down.

Studying her face, he noted how she still looked beautiful to him. He knew the thought was inappropriate at the moment but he could not help it. Sighing helplessly, he reached forward and gently picked her hand up mindful of the clear tubes running from her arm. The sight of her in this bed was destroying him. The thing that really hurt was the fact that it was his fault. If only he had never been so stubborn when she had returned. He would not have been on the alter with the wrong woman which meant she would not have collapsed.

After she had come to him in the gym and said she would move on, he never thought she would become so neglectful to herself. Angrily he pounded the armrest with his free hand. He was so frustrated at his actions. She had been drowning and he had let her... in fact he had watched.

A tear fell from his eye as the silence in the room became too much. The only noise was the sound of the continuous 'beep' signalling her heartbeat. The very same heart that loved him. The dream surfaced in his mind as he shook his head slowly. Since he had first seen her he had wanted her love. Then when she had given it, he always let her go.

"I'm so sorry Peyton... I just... it hurt so much when you refused my proposal and then when you returned... I guess I wanted to hurt you... and I'm just so sorry. You told me the other week you would let me go, and today I realised... I don't want you to. I know you think that my book is a lie but it is not... it's not. I won't let you down this time... I'm going to help you get better whether you want me to or not. I need you in my life Peyton Sawyer and I'm going to show you."

The tears fell harder as his words ended. Wiping them with his free hand, he stood slowly. He needed to go home and talk to someone. Leaning down quickly he brushed a kiss to Peyton's cheek and gave her hand one final squeeze. With one last gaze at the bed, he left the room as silently as he had entered.

**xx**

_So please don't leave_

_Without you my world will fall apart  
Why can't you see  
Without you I am nothing at all _

_  
Keep breathing keep breathing keep breathing  
Please don't you leave_

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**A/N: Sorry about the sudden stop. In the next chapter... Brooke talks to Peyton... Lindsey talks to Lucas... and a certain someone wakes up. Tell me what you think.**


	3. Love hurts

**A/N: So firstly, I just want to say wow. I cannot believe the response the last chapter received. Thank you so much. Due to everyone wanting a speedy update here it is. Quick note... the parts in Italics are Peyton's dreams as she lies in the hospital bed. Also I don't hate Lindsey, I just think she happened to fall in love with the wrong person. Therefore I haven't made her some crazy psycho who refuses to let go.**

**bendecida82 : Cause you asked I'll give you a hint: Lucas will be made aware of the panic attack cause in the next chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned, still... song by Incubus.**

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**LOVE HURTS**

**xx**

_  
Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder  
Is there a spell that I am under  
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?_

_Love hurts...  
But sometimes it's a good hurt  
And it feels like I'm alive.  
Love sings,  
When it transcends the bad things.  
Have a heart and try me,  
'cause without love I won't survive._

_Opening her eyes slowly Peyton looked around trying to discover where she was. As she turned her head to the left, she noticed the empty pew. Confused she pulled herself up and began to stand leaning on the wooden beam for support. Eventually she managed to straighten up and moved her gaze around the empty church. It looked as if a wedding had occurred. Moving forward she walked towards the steps which held the alter. Gently she took each step until she reached the top and turned back around to look at the empty pews._

_"Hello", she called hoping for an answer._

_"Peyton", a voice said to her side._

_Spinning she looked at the man before her and gasped._

_"Lucas what..."_

_"I will always save you", he said slowly._

_Reaching forward she watched as his hand touched her cheek and she could not help but lean into it. Closing her eyes, she felt the familiar painful tug in her chest. Suddenly the movement vanished and she opened her eyes. Looking around she noticed she was back sitting in the pew. To her side sat Brooke and before her was the familiar scene of the wedding from hell. Lindsey stood before Lucas and they gazed at each other with the look that was slowly destroying Peyton._

_"Do you Lucas...," the priest said._

_Standing quickly Peyton ran to the steps and stopped at the bottom._

_"Lucas no... This is ridiculous, you can't do this."_

_"Peyton", he sighed as he turned to her._

_"You always save me, you promised me forever and you lied. You once said that it was your job to rescue me... well then help me. Don't marry her Luke... I love you... please, come with me... come with me"._

_Holding her hand out she felt the tears ready to fall from her eyes. The silence stretched out as once again she waited for the man she loved._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

A knock sounded on the door as the patient in the bed still lay unconscious. Slowly the door opened as Haley stepped through rolling her eyes at her husband who followed.

"Why?" she questioned.

"She once told me I never knocked, and ever since I make a point of doing so... it annoys her, habit I guess", he said sadly with a small shrug of his shoulders.

Feeling guilty for questioning his antics Haley took hold of Nathan's hand and squeezed it gently.

"It will be alright... she's Peyton Sawyer. The woman can overcome anything."

"Yeah I know, I just... can you believe that since she came home I've spoken to her twice. She was one of my best friends and now I hardly know her. I'm a terrible person." he sighed stopping by the bed.

Shaking her head Haley took in the sight of her old friend lying helplessly on the stark white sheets.

"No you're not... you've had a hard time. You were still recovering and in the midst of depression. If anyone should get the award for worst friend, it's me. I have constantly argued with her over Lucas and it wasn't fair. I never thought to look at it from her side. She can't help it if she loves him."

"Maybe we both suck", Nathan, said smiling at the glare his wife gave him. Turning his attention back to the bed he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Peyton's forehead.

"Hey Sawyer..." he whispered standing up slowly. "... I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. Especially after everything you've ever done for me... if it weren't for you I'd still be sitting on my butt in that wheelchair. I never even said thank you."

"What did she do?" Haley asked intrigued by her husband's statement.

"She told me a few home truths, Sawyer style", he said smiling at the memory. Peyton was the only person who could ever hold her own against his self-pity.

"Oh... in that case Peyton I should thank you, I owe you more then I thought... and I'm sorry I blamed you for everything that happened with Lucas." Haley said clasping the woman's hand. A tear slid down her cheek as she remembered the argument they had, had over the kiss a few weeks ago. "I've been a really bad friend and I promise you that we will be here for you. You have a whole group of people who will help you get better."

"Speaking of my brother... you know he went all heroic on you. Actually carried you out of the church like the damsel in distress. You would have been mortified if you had been conscious."

"Plus between him and Brooke I think there may be a hole wearing into the floor outside your room... you really need to wake up. Mainly because Brooke is driving me mad, you're the only one who stops her rants." Haley added squeezing Peyton's hand lightly. Turning to Nathan, she nodded to the door, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah..." he answered walking over to the exit with Haley's hand still in his.

"See you later Peyton." He said with a final gaze over his shoulder.

With that, the pair left the room missing the small sigh that left the patients lips as her hand began to twitch.

_"Lucas"._

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_The entire church was silent as everyone waited for some movement from the man. Slowly his hand began to reach out towards Peyton's when the scene shifted. Looking around she felt her hands tightly gripping the steering wheel of her beloved car. That was when she noticed Lucas sitting beside her as they drove down the street._

_"Peyton slow down... you don't need to do this."_

_Pushing the pedal down harder she ran the third red light in a row as a car swerved to avoid her. It was a near miss but to her it felt like it should have hit. _

_"Peyton", Lucas shouted placing a hand on her shoulder._

_Turning to him, she stopped suddenly and sighed._

_"What"._

_"I want to save you... let me help"._

_Laughing at the irony of the statement Peyton opened the door and stepped out of the car. He wanted to help her, to save her... if that had been the case then he would have fought for her as well. Becoming angry she turned abruptly ready to yell at him when the car disappeared and she was faced with Psycho Derek._

_"I love you... I need you". He whispered as he came towards her. Suddenly he was pushed out of the way, as Lucas punched him._

_There stood her protector. Once again, Lucas Scott had saved her. Wincing as he grappled with the Stalker, she ran forwards as Lucas pushed him through the window. Turning to her, he pulled her inwards as she clung onto him._

_"It's okay, I'm here... you're safe"._

_Those words had her suddenly stepping back and away. Shaking her head, she ran a hand through her hair as he went to clasp hold of her arm._

_"No Luke, you don't save me, you hurt me."_

_Rolling her eyes as the room disappeared she looked around trying to decipher which memory this was. Wincing she noticed the blood leaking from the wound on her leg. The library, she was in the place that held the worst memory. This was Lucas's ultimate rescue. As if on cue he came, jumping around the corner with a baseball bat held high. _

_"Peyton", he cried in relief. "I'm here to help you"._

_Leaning back against the bookcase she sighed. He really needed to stop saving her._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The van pulled to a stop outside the familiar house. Looking at his home a feeling of dread settled deep in his stomach. This was not going to be easy; after all, he had left his own wedding. Guaranteed he had a good excuse but unfortunately, Peyton was also the reason Lindsey doubted him.

"You planning on getting out anytime soon", Skills said interrupting Lucas' musing.

Shaking his head, he smiled at his friend. Skills always did have to get to the point as quickly as possible. Opening the door, he got out and turned back to the four passengers.

"Thanks' for the ride Millie... I'll see you all later at the hospital".

"Good luck Luke", Mouth said nodding towards the house.

Opening his arms Lucas nodded at his friend and waited for his nephew to step forward. As the young boy moved, he pulled him in and hugged him.

"You be good okay".

"Don't worry Uncle Lucas... Mama already had the 'be good' talk".

Chuckling Lucas let go of his grip and stepped back. Closing the door to the van he watched as it disappeared around the corner. He knew he was putting off the inevitable but he could not help it. All he really wanted to do was go back to the hospital but he owed Lindsey this much. In addition, Haley had promised to call as soon as anything happened.

Rubbing his face tiredly with one hand he yawned. He was exhausted. Standing there with his shirt un-tucked and his suit jacket dragging on the floor he breathed in deeply. He needed to prepare himself for the conversation he was about to have.

Hearing a crash coming from the house he turned quickly and jogged up the path. Pushing the front door opened he let it close behind him as he entered the house.

"Linds... Lindsey", he called, throwing his jacket onto the chair in the hall.

Moving quickly down the hall he came to a stop at his bedroom and sighed in relief when he saw her sitting there. She appeared to be fine and as he looked down, he noticed the broken mug on the floor.

"Hey" He asked cringing when he realised how ridiculous that sounded.

Stepping into the room mindful of the china pieces he halted as Lindsey raised a hand to stop him. She was turned away from him but he could see the evidence of her anguish and tears.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No..." she whispered. She hated how weak she sounded.

Looking down Lindsey stared at the pages of the book she held. This was all the proof she needed to show his hearts wishes. Hurt and betrayed she read the words from the page allowed.

"It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life... direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them..."

"Linds", he tried but she ignored him and continued.

"... but even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him... and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart."

"I don't understand".

"It's your novel Lucas".

"Yeah I know, but what does that have to with us".

"Are you blind", she shouted getting up from the bed. Turning to face him, she held the book in the air. "It's about a comet... Peyton drives a comet. I saw it earlier when I picked her jacket up. This book is about hope and longing... you still love her don't you. Tell me what the first day you ever spoke to her was".

"Lindsey..." he tried again but she once again rebuffed him.

"Please, you owe me this much".

"Her car broke down and I got called out to help her... I gave her a ride home, that's all". He said sighing.

"What was the first thing you said to her?"

"What?" he cried. This conversation was becoming ridiculous. Seeing her pointed look he sighed and continued. "Fine I have no idea why this matters but I quoted the song lyrics to a band she had on her notebook... 'That's me inside your head', NOFX."

"You want to know why it matters... I've become someone I don't like Lucas. I'm bitchy and jealous towards a woman who apart from loving you is actually a good person. But you know what's worse... you left our wedding to save the woman who owns your heart".

"She needed help... I had to get her to the hospital."

"I know and God Luke I would never wish for her to be ill... but you and I both know that you always save her. I guess I just wanted to be your comet. You're conflicted Luke and until you realise that you won't be able to move on."

"Lindsey you should not leave because of that... it's a book."

"No... It's an epic love story, but it's not ours." Taking off her ring, she gave it to him and stepped back. "This is Peyton's... don't lie to me, I already found out. I won't be a stand in for a woman you refuse to let in your life. You love her Lucas and you need to tell her."

"I'm sorry", Lucas said looking down. He knew she was right but he could not help the need to fight for her. He always seemed to fight for the wrong women.

"Me too... I've already packed my stuff and I'm going back to New York. As for your novel... it's good, but I can't..." she said trailing off.

"It's okay... and Lindsey I do love you, I just..."

"I know and I love you too which is why I'm leaving. Goodbye Lucas."

Lifting her bag up she walked out of the door and out of his life. Sighing Lucas slumped down onto the bed and rested his head into his hands. Once again, he had managed to lose another woman from his life. Maybe it was time he realised what his heart actually wanted and stopped hurting those around him.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The echoing 'beep' provided no comfort to the brown-haired woman by the bed. She was tired and no matter what the Doctor had told, her she was still worried. Her closest friend and the woman she considered a sister had been deceiving them all. Of course, she knew that Peyton was distraught over the situation with Lucas, but never would she have thought it was this bad. Peyton Sawyer was a survivor, Brooke new that. This whole dilemma just proved that maybe she had been broken beyond repair. As far as Brooke was concerned, Lucas Scott did not exist to her friend anymore, and when Peyton woke she was going to help heal her, even if that meant leaving Tree Hill. For her best friend it was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

"Hey ", she said quietly. The silence in the room was becoming unbearable. Reaching out she clasped Peyton's hand tightly and wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"I'm here... and you have to wake up soon. Not just because we need to talk but also because I really need to kick your skinny arse. Seriously, you scared the crap out of me... I thought I was going to lose you. I know Skills asked how you were going to stop the wedding but I don't think he meant like that. It was a bit dramatic, even for you".

Chuckling at her words Brooke looked up at her friend with a hopeful gaze. Not getting a response, she sighed. This was harder then she thought.

"Look... I know I could never understand how much you hurt but you need to let me in. You're my best friend and I cannot watch you destroy yourself. You're dehydrated and suffering from stress and exhaustion. You're pushing yourself to hard... so please just... talk to me."

"Brooke..."

Snapping her head up at the whisper, Brooke jumped from her seat as Peyton's eyes flickered open.

"Oh my God", she said as she lunged at her friend. Wrapping her arms around her, Brooke felt her tears fall harder now.

"You're okay... you're okay", she whispered.

Rapidly blinking to adjust to the harsh light Peyton slowly lifted an arm and rubbed her friends shoulder providing some form of comfort. After a few minutes, Brooke pulled away and dried her tears with her hands.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to attack you... how are you feeling?"

"Exhausted", Peyton, said tiredly.

Nodding Brooke pressed the call button and sat back down waiting for a nurse to respond. Grabbing Peyton's hand again, she drew her friend's attention.

"I'm glad you're okay, you had me so scared when you collapsed."

"Brooke..." Peyton tried before she was interrupted.

"Let's get you checked out first and then we can talk, okay... without any interruptions."

"I love you ." Peyton said squeezing her friends hand as she laid her head back onto the pillow.

"I love you too , and I'm not going anywhere." Brooke replied as the nurse stepped through the door.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lying on the bed Lucas stared at the ceiling. Even though he had been about to tell her it was over it still hurt that Lindsey had left. She had been a part of his life for two years and he did love her in some way. His heart just did not belong to her, that was still held by the woman he had loved since childhood. Maybe his new novel was his hearts way of reminding him of the immortal words he had once spoken.

_"He was now and always would be in love with Peyton Sawyer"._

Cringing he realised that maybe he was too late. Recent events had reminded him of how he cared for her but they may have reminded her of why he was not worth it. Could he be too late?

Suddenly his phone began to ring on the nightstand and he reached out to answer it. Holding it to his ear without checking caller ID, he spoke into the receiver.

"Hello".

"She's awake", Haley's voice shouted through the phone breathlessly.

"Ten minutes", he replied ending the call.

Jumping from the bed, he raced to the door grabbing his car keys from the table on the way. The failed relationship and almost marriage vanished from his mind and he was plagued with thoughts of Peyton. He needed to get to her... she was safe, and once again he had managed to save her. He just hoped she would forgive him for straying from 'True Love Always'.

**xx**

_Love hurts...  
But sometimes it's a good hurt  
And it feels like I'm alive.  
Love sings,  
When it transcends the bad things.  
Have a heart and try me,  
'cause without love I won't survive.  
_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: In the next chapter... Brooke and Peyton talk... hospital waiting room confrontation... Karen visits Peyton. Tell me what you think.**


	4. All your fault

**A/N: I'm in awe at the amount of reviews, thank you, it's great to know what you all think. Sorry this update is late but I've had exams, which require a depressing amount of revision. Hope you all like it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned, all very sad. The song is by You me at six.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**ALL YOUR FAULT**

**xx**

_When the room goes quiet  
Nobody knows what to say  
And the room goes quiet  
And they don't _

_When it's all your fault  
When it's all your fault_

_When the room goes quiet  
Nobody knows what to say  
This is the part when we say what a shame  
This is the part where we shoulder all the blame_

Considering she had only been conscious for half an hour the level of frustration she was feeling was particularly high. Her gaze was fixed on the machine, which deemed it necessary to consistently tell her she was alive. At this point, she was seriously starting to contemplate smothering herself with her own pillow.

The Doctor had said she would be fine so why did they need to monitor her heart pumping. Unfortunately, he had also mentioned that she would be staying here for the night. That meant an entire evening with the contraption from hell.

Looking down at the wires running from the machine to her chest Peyton shook her head softly. She was obviously bored if she was considering removing the padded wires for kicks; discovering the reaction of the crash cart would definitely be a sign of mental problems.

As the contraption sounded, again she turned her attention back to the monitor. She really hated hospitals... and the thing before her was the main reason why.

"Would you shut it", she said in annoyance.

For one split second, she thought it had worked and a small smile showed on her features. Then her heart decided beat... again.

_Beep_

Growling in frustration, she pulled the sheet up and over her head, closing her eyes tightly. She really needed Brooke to come back... or anyone for that matter. She just wanted something to take her mind off going crazy. Hearing the door handle rattle she opened her eyes in shock - maybe she should wish for something else. Before she could think of something appropriate, a voice sounded out breaking her from her reverie.

"You know Haley and Lucas used to use a sheet to pretend they were in a tent".

"Haley still does - Jamie told me", Peyton said pulling the sheet down appearing to be more collected. Shuffling backwards she slowly lifted herself up until she leaned against the headboard.

"You know she would probably pay you to keep that a secret", Karen replied as she moved to the seat beside the bed. "Are you..." she began as she leant forward to rest a hand on Peyton's arm.

"I'm fine".

"Peyton", Karen said refusing to believe the younger woman's words. Shifting slightly she lifted Peyton's hand and clasped it in her own. "It's okay if you're not, and personally I don't think you are".

"I'm sorry", she whispered. The guilt flared within her at the thought of the worry she had inflicted on her friends.

"Sweetie you never need to apologise for struggling. You do have to talk to us though. I know you don't realise it but you have so many people out there who care... people who hate to see you neglect yourself."

"Just not the right one", Peyton whispered unintentionally.

Ignoring the words from the younger woman Karen sighed. She hated the fact that Peyton was broken because of her son. She had thought he was a better man then that.

"I know it hurts, but you will move on. When I lost Keith, I thought my world had ended. I certainly never expected to be happy again."

"Time heals right?" Peyton asked solemnly.

"It may sound like a cliché, but it's true. You have so much going for you, you just can't see it".

"Like what?" she questioned unbelieving of the other woman's words.

"Peyton you need to have more faith in yourself. You're young, beautiful, successful, an amazing friend and person. One day you will find the man who deserves you... you just need to learn to let go and believe in what you have."

Raising her free hand Peyton wiped the tears that had fallen. If she did not know better she would say that Karen did not think her son was worthy of her. Sometimes the woman before her amazed her at the perceptiveness she possessed. Leaning over she moved into Karen's arms and welcomed the comfort the embrace provided. The words had helped, especially coming from the woman who was the closest thing to a mother she had.

"Thank you", she whispered.

"You're welcome, although I was only telling you the truth," Karen said pulling back. "Now you need to rest before Brooke comes in and scolds me for keeping you awake".

"My own personal bodyguard".

"She's a good friend, but she needs you talk to her. I think she blames herself."

"I know... could you ask her to come back".

Nodding Karen stood and walked to the door. Turning she smiled once more and closed the door behind her leaving Peyton once again alone with the silence. Although for the first time since she had awakened, she found it strangely peaceful.

_Beep_

Hearing the noise echo out again she lay back down properly and began to count the seconds until Brooke showed. What could she possibly have been thinking, as long as that machine was here it would never be peaceful.

_Beep_

"Oh... My... God".

**xxxxxx**

The pounding of his feet on the hospital's hard floors matched the pounding in his chest. After ignoring every speed limit, Lucas, true to his word, breathlessly stepped into the waiting room ten minutes after Haley had called.

"Lucas Eugene Scott how many laws did you break to get here?"

"Do you really want to know Hales?" he said cringing at his friend's question.

"She may not, but I do".

Freezing as he realised he had been caught Lucas turned slowly and came face to face with his mother.

"When did you get here", he replied stepping forward to embrace her.

"Look I know you're a grown man... but I don't want another member of this group in the hospital."

"Okay, I'm sorry", Lucas said nodding in agreement as he pulled back. Turning he looked over at his three friends. "Where are the others?"

"On their way... Millie's going to stay with Jamie, but Mouth and Skills should be here soon". Haley replied still smiling from the small scene she had witnessed. No matter how old Lucas was, he was still a mother's boy.

"Brooke, Peyton wants to see you", Karen said turning her attention to the woman who was too busy glaring daggers at Lucas.

"Is Peyton...?" he asked quietly.

"She's fine considering..." Brooke said interrupting Lucas' question.

Frowning at the aggressive stance the woman was taking he sighed, "Are you annoyed with me?"

"Seriously, you want me to answer that", she replied looking around the room in frustration. "Look I know you have this whole hero complex with her... but you need to stop. No scratch that... you will stop."

"What, I don't have a complex."

"Oh please..." Stepping forward Brooke began her list. "You jump in the car when she run's red lights... you go into a school with a gunman inside... you protect her from the Psycho stalker... and for the main attraction, you stop your own wedding to take her to the hospital when the ambulance is on its way."

"That's not the reason you're pissed".

"What".

"Look Brooke, I know you and you would never question my reasoning for rushing her to the hospital".

"Fine, that's not the main problem."

"Well then what is", he said becoming frustrated.

"It's your fault in the first place," she shouted glaring at him. She could not help the small satisfaction she received from his hurt gaze. He really was oblivious to everything involving Peyton.

"She came back for you Luke, she even told you that. Then you react by kissing and ditching her to propose to Lindsey. Hell, you then invited her to your wedding. Everyone here knows that Peyton will never be just an ex-girlfriend. So congratulations Luke, you broke her."

"That is between me and Peyton".

"No, this has everything to do with me. Who do you think is the one who consoles her when you repeatedly break her heart? It's me Lucas. I'm the one who's shoulder she cries on because you're to stubborn to admit your feelings. I have to listen to her question herself every time you hurt her. Do you know what she went through after you left her in that hotel room?"

"Brooke", Lucas tried.

Ignoring him she continued, "I had to move in with her for two weeks to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. After you left New York I went to see her and she was a mess. You left her without waking her up... you claimed to love her but you could not manage to break up with her face to face. She was not even that bad when her mother died. I hope you're happy... you're actually the worse thing in her life."

Turning she went to leave the room as his voice stopped her.

"Brooke wait... I need to talk to her".

"... No you need to leave her alone. She had a panic attack because you made her watch you move on. Well then, do that. I mean it Luke... stay away from her."

"I can't", he pleaded.

"If you can't keep away then we are leaving Tree Hill. I will not watch you destroy the closest thing I have to a sister."

With that, she left the room not bothering to wait for a response. She was fuming and if she stayed in his presence any longer, she would probably resort to physical violence.

Standing there watching Brooke walk away, Lucas was speechless. She blamed him for everything that had happened. Slowly he looked around at his family and noticed the lack of compassion on their faces. That was when he realised.

They blamed his as well.

**xxxxxxx**

The slamming of the door had Peyton whipping her head around to the sound. Groaning as she felt a wave of dizziness assault her at the fast movement she placed a hand to her forehead. Karen had only been gone a little while and in that time the exhaustion had crept up on her.

"Brooke", she said gaining her friends attention.

"Hey. Karen said you needed to talk". Brooke said moving angrily to the chair.

"You know none of this is your fault don't you." Peyton asked getting straight to the point.

"I should never have forced you to go to the wedding," Brooke answered lowering her gaze.

Picking her friends hand up Peyton forced the woman to look at her, "No, you didn't force me to do anything. I went because I was hoping for some small miracle."

"Peyton..."

"Look you are my best friend and have been there for me so much lately, and I'm sorry I made you doubt that."

"You could have told me you were struggling". Brooke stated tightening the hold on Peyton's hand.

"I know, and I should have... but I couldn't. I just... I thought if I could keep my mind off of him, I wouldn't ache anymore".

"You're going to be okay ".

"Am I?" Peyton asked quietly unsure of the answer.

"Honey..." standing quickly at the sight of her seemingly lost friend she indicated for the woman to move sideward's. Careful not to disturb any of the wires Brooke gently lay down in the vacant space and gripped Peyton's hand while her head leaned against her shoulder.

"I promise you; no matter what it takes... you will be fine. You have me and a whole bunch of people who want nothing more then to see you get well. Think of this as a very scary wake up call."

"Okay" Peyton said nodding slowly.

"Okay?" repeated Brooke.

"Yeah, I trust you, plus I'm on bed rest for a week which means you have to be my slave".

"About that, don't you think Jamie would be a cute miniature waiter"?

"You could make him a tux", Peyton replied feeling slightly happier already.

"We could have Haley cook, Jamie bring you the food, I'm sure we could find the others jobs".

Laughing at the thought both woman revelled in the small amount of reassurance that once again they could overcome a setback that life had thrown them. Looking at the ceiling Peyton remembered the question she was going to ask earlier.

"So why did the door need to be slammed when you came in?"

"It's nothing", Brooke said trying to deflect her friends question.

"If you don't tell me I'm not going to eat dinner".

"Okay fine I'll tell you but for the record it's way to soon to be joking about this situation".

"Note taken".

"I had an argument with he-who-shall-not-be-named". Brooke sighed. She was still angry with him for the way he had treated the woman next to her.

"Brooke please tell me you did not blame him for everything."

"Look Honey I love you, but sometimes you are so blinded by Lucas Scott... he's the reason you had a panic attack and don't deny that".

"It wasn't just him, it was everything. I feel like everyone's moving on with their life and I'm stuck".

"Peyton you're only twenty two, you aren't meant to have all of your dreams fulfilled yet. Anyway you still have me, and personally I refuse to move anywhere if you are not with me. Now we need to get you out of this depressive mind set".

"Oh and what do you suggest, in case you hadn't noticed I'm not allowed to move from this bed".

"I didn't mean now... we should have a party when your better. I'll even let you..."

"Plan it", Peyton interrupted.

"God no, you can be in charge of music".

"Your generosity is too much".

"Shut it . Now because you've yawned four times since I came in you need to sleep."

"... You staying here?" Peyton asked.

"Of course... oh listen we even have the soothing beeping of your heart to listen to."

"Seriously".

"Sleep", Brooke, ordered a small-unseen smile gracing her features. She knew how much the machine annoyed her friend, but after all, the woman had almost worried her to death earlier on. It was as the saying went... paybacks a bitch.

**xx**

_My friends owe it to themselves  
To get a grip and cherish their good health  
Don't want the room to go quiet  
And have to think of things to say_

_When the room goes quiet_

_And the room goes  
When it's all your fault  
When it's all your fault._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: In the next chapter... Peyton talks to Naley... and... A certain someone sneaks into Peyton's room. Let me know what you think.**


	5. Quit you now

**A/N: Well my exams are now finished which means you have my undivided attention so hopefully the next update will not take as long. Thank you for the great reviews, I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing at all, although the rambling in the author's notes is all mine. The song is by Lapush.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**QUIT YOU NOW**

**xx**

_  
I can't convince you that I missed you, I missed you  
Keep it silent inside I'm dying to try to hold you  
Talk tonight, we'll be fine, I'm running to you  
Head on, head on, on your own..._

_I'm not scared  
I'm not tired  
I won't begin to quit you now  
There's just one life, one space, one more time  
Know that I can't... know I can't..._

_Come on love, I've gotta tell you..._

For as long as Lucas could remember Peyton was the woman he wanted... the one he needed in order to be complete. Really, she should have been his.

However, he had let her go.

That ridiculous hotel memory continued to haunt him and slowly his desperation was building. He should have waited for her. What kind of man leaves the woman he loves without even a goodbye? He was a coward. Peyton Sawyer, no matter how much she would deny the fact, needed someone to save her. She needed him.

... And now...

Now she was lying in a hospital bed, her best friend hated him, his family blamed him and even his own conscious was pointing the finger in his direction.

Basically, he had destroyed the woman he had vowed to protect.

He was lost, somehow over the years he had become his father. He had gradually let go of the man he deemed worthy to be hers. Maybe his heart was flawed. Could it be that he was unable to fully love anyone. No that was wrong... he did and could love. He just refused to believe he loved her. He did not want to get hurt again, unfortunately that meant she ended up hurt. What kind of sacrificial saviour did that make him?

Sighing, he looked around the hospital chapel. Too some the silence would be overbearing, but to him, it was comforting. Unfortunately, it did mean that his thoughts were allowed to run wild.

Maybe he should leave this town. Surely, she would be better off if he was not within reaching distance of her. He could travel with his mother and sister. He had always wanted to visit new destinations. Feeling despair in the pit of his stomach at his idea he changed his mind. That would never work. It was not that he did not want to spend time with his family, but he had always said that he wanted to experience new sights with Peyton.

Without even being in the same room, that woman was managing to alter every thought he had. How could she even love him anyway? All he did was bring her pain. He was destructive and everything he touched withered away until he was left with nothing. She did not deserve someone like that. She deserved better.

Feeling someone move into the pew beside him, he jumped slightly at the contact. Not bothering to look up he waited for the words he was sure were coming.

Placing a hand on Lucas's arm Karen sighed at the sadness etched into his features. It was obvious that Brooke's words had, had the desired effect. Unfortunately, her son was a brooder and she hoped he would eventually take some action. He may be conflicted but she could see where his heart lay. He was still in love with the woman who had taken his heart as a child.

"Lucas", she whispered softly.

His mother's voice broke his raging thoughts and he closed his eyes tightly.

"Are you disappointed in me?" He whispered brokenly.

"Lucas I could never be disappointed in you. Why would you even think that?" she replied forcefully shocked at her son's words.

Taking a deep breath Lucas looked at his mother, "... you taught me to be a good man, but I'm not. I've hurt her and I don't think she will ever forgive me".

"She loves you, she just needs time."

"I'm not talking about Lindsey".

"I know..." noticing his questioning look Karen continued as a small smile graced her features. "My boy you have loved Peyton Sawyer since you were ten and striving to gain her attention."

"She never noticed me", he said softly.

"Well you finally managed it".

"Yeah, and look what I did to her. She's in a hospital bed because I refuse to acknowledge her... I... I promised to protect her and instead I'm the one she needs protecting from".

"She needs you Lucas... just like you need her. Have you ever asked her since she's been back why she still loves you... because there must be a reason? Yes you hurt her but there is still time to heal her."

"I think I've pushed her too far this time". He sighed looking down to the floor.

"You won't know until you see her".

"I can't get near her, Brooke has the room guarded".

"Well I happen to know that a certain brunette has gone home to get some items for her best friend."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lucas asked curiously. He had been sure everyone hated him, his mother included.

"... because you are my son and I love you. However I love Peyton so please do not make me regret telling you this."

"Thank you", he said as he reached forward to wrap his arms around the woman. After a while, he pulled back with a question sounding from his mouth, "What do I do if she won't listen".

"Lucas she has stayed here after you proposed to another woman, I think she might be able to hear your words for a few minutes."

"Okay".

"Don't push her though. She's been through a lot lately so if she does want you to leave her alone..." Karen said trailing off.

"I know." Lucas replied. Standing he went to the door but halted as his mother's voice found him.

"Oh and Lucas", grabbing her son's attention she continued, "You may have lost your way but I am still incredibly proud of you. You just need to recognise that in yourself. Just please don't prove me wrong."

Watching him nod she waved him off indicating him to go and find the woman he loved. She just hoped that he could fix the damage he had caused. It hurt her to think that the boy she had raised was so guarded with his true feelings. Fortunately, he still had time to change that, providing Peyton would forgive him. Maybe she had finally been pushed to far.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Sighing, Peyton heard the all too familiar beep echo around the room. She had hoped that once Brooke had gone she might be able to take her mind off it. Unfortunately, the world seemed to hate her. She just wished that her best friend returned quickly. Brooke had been sent to retrieve her I Pod and a few other items from the house. Hopefully the music would drown out the annoying consistent noise.

Suddenly a strange knock echoed from the door and Peyton smiled when she realised who was the other side.

"Nate", she called as she waited for the man to reveal himself.

"See I told you she would know it was me", Nathan said smugly as he stepped into the room.

"Couldn't you have pretended you didn't know", Haley said rolling her eyes.

"Why?" Peyton asked.

"She hates it when I gloat", he replied as he stepped towards the bed. Leaning down he placed a kiss on Peyton's forehead as Haley took hold of her hand.

"How are you?" she asked as she watched the couple.

"Basically Sawyer you nearly gave me a heart attack. Can we have a warning next time."

"Sorry", she replied, remorse coming through the small laugh that echoed.

"Don't be. In fact I'm the one that should say sorry".

"What did you do?"

"I knew how you felt about my idiot brother. I should have been there for you. I can't even remember the last time we talked so... I'm sorry".

"Nate, I haven't exactly sought you out either. Anyway you had enough to deal with, you didn't need my drama."

"I like your drama... it's better than TV", Nathan said with a shrug.

Swatting his arm Peyton tried to glare at him but the smile on her face was halting the action. Suddenly Haley lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Peyton. Surprised by the action the other two shared a confused look before the blonde-haired woman relaxed in her friends embrace. After a few moments, Haley pulled back and laughed lightly, "Sorry about that".

"Hales", Nathan, said rubbing a hand lightly over his wife's arm.

"I suck", she blurted as her hand wiped away the tear that had fallen.

"... Okay..." Peyton replied raising an eyebrow at her normally over literate friend. That phrase was definitely not, what she had been expecting.

"You're not meant to agree".

"You said it first".

"I know... and I meant it. I've been such a Bitch to you since you got home and I never even tried to see it from your side. I cannot imagine how hard it's been for you with Lucas, but I just always took his side. So I'm just really sorry."

"... and you suck", Peyton said softly with a small smile.

"Yeah... and I suck", replied Haley as she leant forward to hug Peyton again.

"Thank you", Peyton whispered as she pulled back.

Nodding Haley took hold of her friends hand again and spoke, "If you ever need anything okay, you have me".

"And me", Nathan added.

"And him, we're your family and next time you feel overwhelmed by something you can tell us."

"Okay," Peyton whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. Wiping it away Peyton frowned as a thought occurred to her, "Just how embarrassing was I... Brooke won't tell me yet".

"Erm..." looking at his wife for help Nathan sighed as she shrugged.

"Nate"

"You looked really nice in your dress", he said smiling at his avoidance of the question.

"Nate", Peyton said crossing her arms and waiting for a better reply.

"Fine but Brooke had better not kill me for this. You collapsed, we rang an ambulance, and a certain someone went all heroic on your skinny butt".

"Oh".

"Honey", Haley said softly noticing the look on her friends face.

"It's okay. I mean that's what he does isn't it... he saves me, even when I don't want him to."

"For what it's worth we all agreed with him. If it wasn't Lucas carrying you out the church it would have been me", Nathan argued.

"He carried me", Peyton said loudly. "Great, I bet that looked good in the middle of his wedding."

"If it helps at all... it was kind of touching".

Looking at her husband Haley rolled her eyes. "Not helping", she hissed.

"Why can't he stop rescuing me? I mean not that I'm not grateful it's just..." trailing off Peyton stopped as words left her.

"It will be okay... you have us, Brooke, the rest of the group. Maybe the party will help take your mind off of it", Haley stated.

"Yeah", she replied unconvinced. It seemed that as long as Lucas was her saviour the familiar ache in her chest was going to stay. Looking down she sighed until she heard Nathan say something.

"Did you hear about Brooke ripping him a new one?"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Halting before the closed door, which held the woman, he was intent on seeing behind it, Lucas took a shaky breath. His nerves were beginning to gain the better of him. Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he sighed. He only had a short while before Brooke returned and he was wasting time with his indecisiveness.

Suddenly the door opened to reveal his brother and best friend.

"Erm..." he said unsure of what to say.

"Five minutes," Nathan interrupted with a roll of his eyes. They may not like it but Lucas needed to talk to Peyton for his own sanity.

"Thanks", Lucas whispered with a small nod as he passed by the couple.

"Don't thank me yet, if Brooke finds you in there she'll kill you".

With that, he allowed the door to close behind him as he turned to the bed. There she sat leaning against the pillows tiredly. Opening her eyes he watched as a small smile unconsciously made its way onto her mouth. Years ago, that would have felt amazing, now it just furthered his disgust at his actions. He wanted to run forward and hold onto her but he forced himself to ignore the urge.

"Hi", he whispered moving forward slowly.

"Hey"

Watching her nod to the chair beside her in a silent invitation, he moved over and sat down. Hearing the 'beep' from the machine beside him he winced as images from his dream resurfaced.

"Annoying isn't it". Peyton said softly trying to break the silence.

"Huh". Lucas blurted not realising she had spoken.

"The noise".

"I could never find it annoying... it means your alive".

Nodding she looked away as his eyes seemed to be penetrating right through her.

"Are you..."

"I'm fine" she interrupted turning back to him.

The awkwardness in the room was unbearable and the pair were trying in vain to stop staring at the other.

"You're always saving me".

Hearing the familiar words, he gazed at her and nodded slowly.

"Somebody has to".

"Not you".

"What".

Sighing softly Peyton rested a hand on Lucas' arm to gain his attention. Realising her actions she pulled away quickly hoping he had not noticed. Unfortunately judging by the hurt look on his face he had.

"I'm not yours to save anymore Luke. I can't thank you enough for what you did, but you..."

"Shouldn't have... I know. Brooke told me earlier."

"I heard about that."

"I deserved it. Peyton I'm sorry I... I feel like this is all my fault."

"It's not".

"Peyt..."

"It's not... I should have let you go like I told you I would."

Nodding Lucas looked away in defeat. She was closing herself off again and he had no right to try to break her walls down. Hearing a whisper, he looked up again.

"Sorry".

"I'm always chasing you", Peyton whispered softly. She had not meant the thought to echo from her lips but she could not be sorry that it had.

"I don't understand".

"Think about it... I'm always the one that told you how I felt first. You were probably pressured into reciprocating."

"No... I loved you for years when we were younger... I told you that".

"No you said you watched me. I was just not enough for you want to fight for".

"That's not true." Remembering his mother's words he found the encouragement to continue, "Peyton you made me a better man and I can never thank you enough for that. When I left you that night in LA, I was so lost after... I still am."

"You have Lindsey", she said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

"She left earlier... and you know what I realised."

"What" she whispered afraid of his answer.

"Her leaving does not hurt half as much as when you left".

"Lucas don't". Peyton said raising a hand to stop him from continuing. Watching him grab onto it she closed her eyes tightly willing away the hope she felt.

"Don't what... care for you... because I do Peyton? I want to be that man for you... I won't quit being the one who saves you".

Opening her eyes, she shook her head slowly and removed her hand from his grasp.

"You can't".

"Why... I know you still love me."

"... Because you don't love me. I can't be second best anymore Lucas... I deserve better."

"You were never second. You have always been my first choice even when we weren't together. Look, I'm not saying I want a relationship right now... I just want to be there for you... let me help. I'm not scared anymore, I know I've treated you terrible lately and I'm sorry."

"Lucas..."

"Look you once told me it wasn't what I said but what I did... well let me do this. Please. I missed you".

"What do you want from me", she asked tiredly.

"Nothing just let me in your life. Don't cut me out."

"I need to get some sleep".

Nodding as he heard her reply he stood slowly. He wanted to ask the question his mother had raised earlier but realised it could wait. He did not want to push her.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow", bending down he placed a kiss on her forehead before he turned to move to the door. Opening it, he looked back at the bed, "Peyton".

"Yeah".

"I promise you, I'm not going anywhere, not this time."

With that, he turned and left. Confused by the last few minutes Peyton moved down the bed to lie down. Closing her eyes, she willed away the words, which echoed, around her mind. She could hear his voice whispering the words he had uttered. Each sentiment seemed to tug at her heart painfully. The hope had built in her stomach and she was frustrated at the way Lucas could break down her walls. Maybe he was being truthful and she knew that if that was the case then she was doomed. Unfortunately, one thought seemed to be more prominent then the others and it was hurting her.

_He never once said he loved her._

**xx**

_I'm not scared  
I'm not tired  
I won't begin to quit you now  
There's just one life, one space, one more time  
Know that I can't... know I can't..._

One love... one life

_One space... one time_

_One love... one life_

_One space... one time_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: Tell me what you think.**


	6. Re Offender

**A/N: Phew, I finally managed to keep what I wrote for this chapter. I lost count of how many times I deleted it... nothing seemed to be right. I just hope this is actually works. Thank you all for the reviews they were great. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned at all... still. Song by Travis.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**RE-OFFENDER**

_  
_**xx**

_Keeping up appearances  
Keeping up with the Jones'  
Fooling my selfish heart  
Going through the motions_

_But I'm fooling myself  
I'm fooling myself  
Cause you say you love me  
And then you do it again, you do it again  
You say you're sorry  
And then you do it again, you do it again_

Leaning against the wall Lucas took in his surroundings, the room was filled with a collection of mundane things. All in all his bedroom offered no source of amusement. He desperately needed to find some activity to take his mind off the day. Frustrated he banged his fist into the wall beside him. Stepping forwards he opened his aching hand and grimaced as a stabbing pain shot up his arm.

He was angry... and now he was hurt. Great.

It seemed that where she was concerned he always moved backwards rather then forwards. She was his weakness and he was beginning to break. Tiredly he moved to the bed and slumped down onto his back.

The room seemed to almost close in on him as he came to a realisation.

She was out of reach.

Then again, Peyton Sawyer had always been out of reach. Not because of her actions but due to his. For years, he had watched her and wished more then anything to have her. Then when he did...

Her words from earlier echoed around his head and he raised his hands to gently rub his tired eyes. Feeling the moisture there, he let his arms fall back to his sides. The tears that had been collecting all day had finally begun to slip down his cheeks.

Maybe he was too late.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Everybody thinks you're well  
Everybody thinks I'm ill  
Watching me fall apart  
Falling under your spell_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**TWO HOURS EARLIER**_  
_

Stepping into the waiting room, Lucas sighed at the all too familiar sight of his family. For a small group they really did spend too much time in this place.

"Luke", Haley said as she moved towards him.

Pulling her into his arms, he pressed a small kiss to her hair. His aching shoulders began to relax slightly at the comfort she provided.

He was surprised though.

After the events of yesterday, he had been positive that his family would be distant with him. He would not have blamed them either. Looking over at his brother, he realised that he may, have jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Lucas" Nathan said curtly, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

"You okay Nate?"

"Fine"

"Good... that's good". Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly Lucas looked towards the room which held Peyton.

"They'll be out soon". Haley said softly noticing the worried frown on her friends face.

"Mm".

"Brooke and Peyton... you know the two women behind the door you're glaring lovingly at". Nathan snapped.

"Nate", Haley whispered. Turning back to Lucas, she placed a hand on his arm to gain his attention. "You okay?"

"Mm... Oh sorry".

"Talk to me" she urged.

Moving towards the chairs, she pulled her friend along by his hand. Sitting down she frowned at the sight of her husband pacing a few feet away. The longer he spent with Lucas the more chance there was of a confrontation. She had never noticed how much Nathan cared for his ex-girlfriend until now. Snapping her thoughts away from the current subject, she turned back to the brooding man beside her.

"Luke".

"It's nothing" he sighed.

"It's not nothing... what's up?"

"Lindsey left." Frowning at his ability to easily lie to his best friend Lucas cringed inside. Lindsey was not the reason for his distant thoughts, in fact he had barely thought of her at all since she left. Instead, Peyton was on his mind constantly stirring old memories up.

"What happened?" Haley questioned.

"She read the book".

"I can't believe you showed her that... after everything I told you".

"I didn't, she found it on my desk."

"Luke".

"She jumped to the same conclusion as you did. You're both wrong... it's just a story". Lucas said with a shake of his head.

"Look I'm not trying to be mean but do you really believe that".

Looking down Lucas closed his eyes at the question. Of course, he did not believe his words. He knew what the hidden suggestion of the novel was; he just had not noticed it until Haley pointed it out. He was once again writing what was in his heart. Shame he was not too sure what that meant.

"I'm sorry about Lindsey", Haley whispered.

"It's okay... I'm sort of glad she read it before we got married".

"You cannot be serious". The sudden outburst from Nathan caused the two friends to look up. Running a hand threw his hair Nathan stepped forward and glared at Lucas.

"I know everyone thinks I'm the less intelligent brother but sometimes... I swear you're a dumbass."

"What?" Lucas said confused at the statement.

"For the love of... how can you sit there and pretend that Lindsey leaving is the reason for you brooding."

"She was my fiancée".

"I know. I was on the alter with you yesterday. But we both know that you wanted it to be someone else walking towards you in that church".

"I loved her".

"Yeah but you're in love with Peyton. You need to get your head out of you arse Luke if you ever want to be happy."

"...I..."

"You know I think Brooke was right yesterday. You really are blind to the way you hurt her". Nathan said moving forward.

"Nate", Haley sighed, rising from her chair to lay a hand on her husbands arm.

"I'm sorry Hales I know he's your best friend but my best friend is laying in a hospital because of him."

"I'm your brother".

"I'm not sure, because the brother I had would have sacrificed himself for Peyton. Not give her up to the darkness you so often talk about."

"I'm sorry okay... I don't know what to do".

"I do. Stay away from her until you recognise that you're the one killing her".

With that, Nathan turned and stormed out of the room leaving behind an uncomfortable silence. Slumping forward in the chair Lucas rubbed his aching eyes.

"He's right". He whispered.

"Of course he is."

"Haley".

"I'm always defending you Luke... but I don't think I can this time".

"You're on his side".

"He's my husband Lucas. I'm going to be on his side anyway, but just now he was right."

Hearing Haley leave the room Lucas frowned. Why could he not stop treating her badly? Was he still angry with her somehow? Maybe he was trying to punish her for breaking his heart years ago. Either way he needed to fix the mess. Looking around he realised he was alone.

It seemed that this time he was not only pushing Peyton away but also everyone he cared about.

xx

"Arms up", Brooke said as she lifted the jumper over her best friends head.

"Brooke I'm dehydrated... not paralysed".

Noting the glare the brown-haired woman gave Peyton sighed and did the actions that the command had given. It seemed she was not going to win this one.

Suddenly the door slammed open and both women snapped their attention to the man walking swiftly to the bed. Seating himself next to Peyton, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"You missed the strop act", Brooke stated with a smirk.

"Funny".

"Nate, not that I don't appreciate the hug we got going on here..." Pulling herself away slightly Peyton turned and rubbed his arm soothingly as she continued, "... but what's wrong?"

"Nothing".

"Then why are you channelling the broodier brother". Brooke said as she sat the other side of Nathan.

"I just had a slight... disagreement."

"With Haley?" enquired Brooke.

"No... Not..."

"Luke... it was Lucas wasn't it... you didn't hit him did you".

"Not yet". Nathan sighed under his breath, but both women heard.

"Nate I love you, but please don't lose your brother over me. I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are... anyway someone had to tell him he was an arse... again". He replied with a look at Brooke's raised eyebrow.

Before Peyton could argue the statement, the door opened to reveal a tired looking Haley.

"I'm sor..." Nathan began but was cut off by his wife.

"Don't apologise... he deserved it. I'm just sorry I couldn't be the one to say all that."

Walking forward she took Nathan's hand and clasped it tightly; "Anyway I think it might have made him think about his actions for once".

"Is he out there?"

The whispered question drew the attention of the group and Brooke rolled her eyes at the obviousness of her best friend.

"Don't even think about ".

"I'm not", she defend looking intently at the loose thread on her jumper.

"Please... we all know you have a hidden agenda".

"Sure you do", Peyton scoffed... but the look on her friends' faces reiterated the transparency of her words. Sometimes it was a pain to have friends who knew you so well.

"Fine", she sighed in defeat.

A few moments passed as thoughts of Lucas plagued everyone's minds.

"Do you reckon he's gone?" Brooke whispered breaking the silence.

"No", Nathan replied.

"He's not going to."

"... and how exactly do you know that?" Brooke said raising her eyebrows at Peyton's blunt statement.

"He told me he would be back to see me today... and he hasn't seen me... yet".

"When did he tell you that?"

"Yesterday... he came in to talk... and judging by the look on your face I should not have said that." Peyton said quickly at the glare her friend was giving to the door.

"I'm going to kill him", the brown-haired woman stated angrily. Turning to the couple beside her she frowned, "Actually, I'm going to kill you two first... he can wait".

"Wait, what... we didn't do anything." Haley said holding her hands up defensively.

"Exactly... you both heard me shouting at him yesterday and one puppy dog look from him and you let broody past."

"Brooke, you know as well as I do that he was never going to leave until he had seen Peyton. Anyway I said he only had five minutes." Nathan stated trying to diffuse the situation.

"So... he's like a dog with a bone, and I'm fed up with my best friend being his favourite chew toy".

"What are you lot talking about... and for the record Brooke... that was gross". Peyton asked gaining everyone's attention.

"... erm... well..." Brooke stuttered as she realised that the woman in question was still present.

"What did you do "?

"Well it's funny really."

"Tell me then, I'll be sure to crack a smile".

"Don't get snappy at me. I just told him to stay away from you".

"Mm mm... for how long?"

"Just a little... until you die, forever sort of way".

"Brooke".

"What he treats you like crap... someone had to make him grow up".

"I know and thank you. But I can handle myself when it comes to Lucas Scott".

"Seriously".

"Yes I'm not stupid. Now I love you for what you did but can I please make my own decisions."

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, he just..."

"I know".

Stepping forward both women hugged until a comment from the only male in the room broke them apart. Turning to him, Peyton raised an eyebrow, "Care to rephrase that Nate".

"What". Nathan said looking sheepish.

"What do you mean 'what'?" Haley stated glaring at her husband.

"Yeah Nate... tell us... when exactly did you 'have that dream'." Brooke asked placing a hand on her hip.

"When they first came back they bribed me to walk by saying they would kiss for every step I took", Nathan said pointing a finger at the pair. He needed to say something to distract his wife.

"You did what?" Haley asked turning to her friends.

"We were thinking of you the whole time".

"Well thanks Brooke that makes me feel better". Haley replied.

"Peyton..." Nate called standing from the bed.

The retreating figure stopped with her hand of the door. Turning slightly she looked at the group and sighed, "He needs to leave... if we want to get out of here".

"Are you sure ?" Brooke said stepping forward.

"I have something to say to him".

"Okay fine... but he can come to you... Tutor Mum you're the only talking to him?"

Nodding, Haley left the room as Brooke sat Peyton back down onto the bed.

"Brooke the doctor said I could go home".

"I know, however he also said your on bed rest. So no walking around. Now Lucas will be in any minute so keep you skinny butt on the bed if you want to see him".

Any argument Peyton was about to make was stopped by the timid knock on the door. Nodding at the unasked question, she watched her friends leave the room as Lucas entered.

Walking forward he kept his hands in his pockets afraid he would try to reach out to her. She looked so much better then yesterday but there was still a deep weariness etched into her features. Moving to the chair, he sat down and felt the tiredness assault his aching muscles.

Moments went passed as the pair affixed their gazes to anything but each other. Sighing Lucas gained the courage to ask the question that had been plaguing him.

"Why do you love me?"

"What", Peyton whispered shocked by the sudden question.

Reaching forward Lucas picked up her hand delicately from its position beside her.

"Why do you love me?" he repeated.

"Luke..."

"All I do is hurt you. I just... how can you still love me after everything I've put you through? You deserve better."

"I didn't want better... I wanted you".

"Why".

Taking a deep breath Peyton sighed, "Answer me something first".

"Okay".

"Would you have said yes"?

"What?"

"On the alter, in front of everyone we know. Would you have said yes to her... even after everything we had been through? After I begged you not too."

"Peyton".

"It's a simple question Luke".

"... I ... "stuttering he looked down and closed his eyes as she removed her hand from his. Feeling the loss already from the lack of contact he winced as she stood from the bed.

"I guess that answer's it."

"Peyton wait". Standing Lucas grabbed hold of her arm as she passed. Looking into her eyes, he felt the tugging in his chest at the sight of the tears building there.

"Why... that's all I've ever done... I waited for you Lucas... I'm still waiting. But it's killing me."

"I'm sor..."

"No don't you dare apologise. You always say you're sorry but then you hurt me again".

"Peyton please... I am sorry. I hate myself for hurting you; I just need you to listen to me".

"Like you listened to me."

"That's not fair. I cannot help it if I tried to move on. I hadn't seen you for years."

"... and whose fault is that".

"You said no".

"... and you left me in a hotel room".

Sighing Lucas stepped forward and clasped hold of both of her hands, "Look we are never going to agree on what happened. However, for what it's worth, I wish I could take it back. I never should have left you."

"Luke".

"I don't know what to do... I'm lost. Please Peyton help me"

Closing her eyes Peyton pulled away and stepped back. "I can't."

"Peyt..."

"No Luke. I'm always the one who helps you. What about what I need."

"What's that... tell me what you need me to do"?

"You would have said yes to her Luke."

"I don't understand".

"If I hadn't have collapsed you would be married right now. I begged you not to go through with it but you just moved on and left me in the dust. You don't love me Luke... you don't really care about me."

"I'm sorry".

"Stop apologising", she shouted. "You want to know why I love you... it's who I am. Loving you is a part of me, and I can't help it. I have done since I was sixteen and I probably always will. But _like_ you... right now Lucas I don't particularly want to look at you".

"Why are you being like this"?

"... Because you made me like this. Now I know you promised you would be there for me, but right now you need do what you do best."

What's that?" he said softly.

"Break your promise".

With that, she opened the door and waited for him to move. Nodding Lucas walked forward but stopped in front of her. Reaching up he rested a hand against her cheek and leant forward.

"I'm going to fix this".

Pulling back, he walked through the door but faltered as her voice sounded out.

"You can't fix what's too far gone".

Watching him continue forward Peyton staggered back as her friends filtered back into the room. The anguish assaulted her all at once and she felt the barriers break on her tears. The salty water began to make its way down her cheeks as she collapsed onto the bed. Grabbing hold of Brooke she cried out the tormented desperation she had held in for far too long.

"Sh... it's okay".

"You were right", she whispered to Brooke.

"Doesn't matter".

With the words from Peyton, still echoing around the room the other three looked at each other solemnly. Maybe this really was the end to the epic love story of the two blondes.

As much as it hurt and was going to destroy people in it's wake it seemed that True Love Always was about to become True Love Lost.

xx

_  
But you're fooling yourself  
You're fooling yourself  
Cause you say you love me  
And then you do it again, you do it again  
You say you're sorry  
And then you do it again, you do it again  
And again and again and again and again_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: In the next few chapters... Karen pays Peyton one last visit... Lucas reaches breaking point... oh and PARTY! Let me know what you think.**_  
_


	7. Make you love me

**A/N: I'm so sorry about the time it has taken for this update but I had a major block. Thank you for the reviews; they gave me a couple of ideas, which will come up. The next chapter is already mostly written so should be up much faster. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Nope still nothing. Song by Slow Runner.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**MAKE YOU LOVE ME**

**xx**

_When you choose me  
You start to lose me  
When I get you  
I start to regret you  
When we're lovers  
It's almost over  
You can hear my heart  
In the dark  
Like a bird, singing_

_... Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock..._

Ten minutes.

That was all it took for Peyton's boredom to peak at an unnaturally high level. The clock beside her was not helping matters either; somehow, it was more annoying then the heart monitor in the hospital. Maybe it was the threat of having to listen to that sound for a whole week.

Who knew that being contained in her bedroom would be such hell? She was Peyton Sawyer, the loner cheerleader, the girl who at seventeen sought the confines of her red room as an escape to the harshness of the outside world.

However now it seemed that she could not last even a matter of minutes. Running her hands through her hair in frustration, she noted the problem. It was the quiet. She needed her music; it was her life, her passion, something to pass the time. However, Brooke had taken that. Apparently, when the doctor had said she needed to rest in the first few days, to her brunette friend that meant total silence.

Therefore no music, no distraction, and a definite spiral into depression.

Noticing the marker pen on the bedside table, she reached for it, uncapping the lid when it was within her grasp. Lifting her hand to wall above she drew a single line no longer then a few centremetres in length, and then leant her head back to stare at the black mark. Somehow, the ink line made the entire situation worse, but she had always been a glutton for punishment.

_Day One_ was what it signified and soon others would join it. Capping the pen, she returned it to the tabletop but it rolled off hitting the floor. Sighing she watched as the pen continued its movement towards the window until it lolled to a halt. Even the stationary, it seemed, was trying to escape the suffocating lack of atmosphere in the room.

Looking around the room she sighed, there was no one to blame but herself. As much as she wanted to point the finger at Lucas, she knew she could not. If he could move on, then she should be able to as well. Maybe she had some sort of defect; she was doomed to live with an unrequited love.

The urge to leave this place was becoming so strong, but she could not. She needed to stop running, Tree Hill was her home and she owed it to the others. Her friends were there to support her, and hopefully the mere sight of Lucas would eventually stop tugging painfully at her heart. As much as she hated the fact, this town, her home, may be the only thing that could heal her.

She needed to fix the barriers that Lucas had broken years ago no matter what the cost was. It was time to let him go. The earlier confrontation in the hospital had only proven to reiterate that thought. She had been so angry with him, and yet somehow he still did not get it. He was never going to fight for her. She had asked him to leave, and he had with no fight at all. She knew it sounded silly, he had after all done what she asked him too, but that was the problem. All his other girlfriends had at some point asked the same thing but he had refused. Hell, he had practically chased Brooke around town when she had broken up with him the second time. Then when Lindsey went to leave, he proposed. So why was Peyton any differant?

It hurt to think about him and the past, and now she was too tired to even care.

Shaking her head of her thoughts, she tapped her hand against her thigh, thinking of a way to pass the time. Spying her notebook and pencils beside the bed, she rolled her eyes at not noticing them earlier. If she could not listen to music, she would use her other passion. Drawing.

She was beginning to feel like a caged animal. Never again would she be able to visit a zoo without feeling a great deal of sympathy for the poor animals. Tracing the pencil smoothly over the paper before her, a picture slowly began to form.

She worked for an hour making sure each line captured the intensity of the emotion inside her. Finally, she completed the drawing, scrawling a small caption at the top of the page. Lifting the pencil, she tapped it against her lip, deep in thought.

"Knock Knock". Brooke said entering the room and handing Peyton a cup of coffee. Taking a seat beside her friend Brooke lifted the pad off her lap raising an eyebrow at the drawing.

"My God, you've only been in here an hour".

Shrugging her shoulders Peyton sipped the coffee and considered the picture. In the centre was a glass box with a woman trapped inside and a note stuck to the window reading, _'Peyton Sawyer - tortured artist'_. At the top of the page was a small caption stating _'Please don't feed the animals'_.

" I love you , but I swear sometimes your freakish humour creeps me out".

"I feel trapped".

"Wait until day three", Nathan said from the doorway.

"Thanks Nate, you really know how to make someone feel better". Brooke stated with a glare.

"Nah, she loves it when I'm straight with her".

"Only when it involves presents", Peyton added.

Looking down Nathan remembered the plate he held. Stepping forward he handed it to Peyton as he took a seat.

"Brownies..." taking a bite she smiled at the flavour, "these are amazing".

"Freshly bakes by yours truly".

"Yeah sure, tell Haley I said thanks".

"I'm hurt", Nathan said placing a hand over his heart. "So what are we doing then", he asked as Brooke held up the drawing pad. Raising an eyebrow, he turned to Peyton and chuckled, "That bad then".

"Worse" Brooke stated, "We could lose her".

"Bit melodramatic for you, normally you're the happy one", he replied.

"Nate she hasn't even been in here a day and her drawings are already depressing, next she'll be all comatosed."

"I'm right here you know", Peyton said placing the still loaded plate on the bedside cabinet. "I need something to do... maybe my music back would help".

"No way Missy... you need to rest and you can't do that listening to noise, anyway it's late and Karen will be round in the morning." Brooke said holding onto Peyton's hand.

"Fine".

"When's she leaving", Nathan asked.

"She's going already?" Peyton added.

Nodding Brooke answered, "Yeah, apparently Andy has some business to take care of somewhere I can't remember the name of. They'll be back in time for the party though".

Leaning back so his head rested against some cushions Nathan looked at Peyton, "How's the party planning going?"

"Don't look at me; she won't let me do anything."

"I said you could pick the music, nothing whiny though... don't glare it needed to be said." Turning to Nathan she continued, "That reminds me, can you help me set up next week."

"Sure, I'll tell Haley, and we'll be round early".

Suddenly the conversation between the two was interrupted by a not so subtle yawn from the other occupant of the room. Noticing the look on Brooke's face Peyton sighed and began to lie down on the pillows her friends were re-arranging.

"But I'm not..." she began.

"Yes you are, you yawned so you're tired, which means you sleep." Brooke said.

"Why do you bother to argue with her", Nate asked as he took the empty mug from the bedside cabinet.

"... Because she thinks eventually I'll give in."

Going to add a remark Nathan stopped as he noticed the blonde in question was no longer coherent. Apparently, she was more exhausted then she thought. Moving to the doorway Nathan waited with a small smile on his face as he watched Brooke re-arrange the covers and place a small kiss on Peyton's forehead.

Straightening up she turned and raised an eyebrow at Nathan's look, "What?" She whispered.

Closing the door as she stepped past him he placed an arm around her shoulder as they moved towards the kitchen, "Someday Brooke Davies you're going to be an amazing mother".

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It was simple.

... Pour... Drink... Slam...

Three easy actions, which in the space of an hour had been so perfectly executed, he could now complete it in a matter of seconds. A dangerous thing when the drink of choice was whisky and seemed to be evaporating rapidly from the bottle. Leaning forward on the counter Lucas placed his head against his folded arms.

She hated him.

No matter what he had done to Peyton, never before had she been so...

He could not even complete the thought as he felt like he was being suffocated by the hurt. He needed to fix it, but he was not sure how. Unfortunately, as he was somewhere around the seventh drink his brain was unable to think of a remedy for the situation.

He was depressed, lonely and somehow he missed Lindsey. Not because he loved her, but because she distracted him from the blonde-haired woman in his heart. It was cruel, but somehow that was what he had become. He had felt something for her... before Peyton returned.

In the space of only thirty-six hours, he had gone from fiancé, to a dumped, drunk, spiteful man who was certain he was going to grow into the male equivalent of the old woman with twenty-six cats.

Pouring himself another round, he ignored the concerned look from the bartender. He owned the bottle, hell, he owned the entire place, and if he wanted to drink himself into oblivion then he would. Tipping the glass towards the man in a silent gesture, he drank it back swiftly, slamming the glass down when he finished.

Suddenly he was hit with an intense desire to see Peyton. That was what he needed to do. Somehow, if he went to her, everything would be okay. She would forgive him and not hate him... she would love him.

Decision made he stood unsteadily, the stool crashing onto the floor as it tipped backwards. Ignoring it, he wavered slightly grasping the bar for support. Breathing in deeply a few times he pushed away and staggered out of the club.

It was not a particularly long trek to Peyton's house and he arrived quickly, considering he was taken two-steps forward, one-step back. Making his way onto the driveway, he crashed to his knees, wincing as it sent a jolt up his spine.

Unfortunately, now he had arrived he was lost. His jumbled thoughts had escaped him, and he could not remember what the plan of action was. Slowly he lifted his hands and rubbed his temple, the alcohol still pumping around his veins and causing him to sway slightly. Suddenly recalling the reason for this visit, he rolled his eyes.

There was none.

He needed a way to get her attention, so taking a deep breath he did the first thing he could think of.

"PEYTON", he shouted.

The doorbell was too far away and he really did not want to see Brooke. He needed to get the blonde out of the house on her own. Not getting a response, he tried again.

"PEYTON... PEEEEYYYYYTON".

All of a sudden, he was hit by another urge, unfortunately this one started from the pit of his stomach. Unable to control himself he leant forward and vomited everything he had consumed in the past hour. His arms shook as he heaved. Eventually the feeling died down slightly and he stopped. Shakily he wiped his mouth and closed his eyes fighting off the nausea.

"Lucas Scott, did you just throw up all over my drive?"

Looking up suddenly he swayed as he stood. Squinting at the figure, he shook his head, "You're not Peyton".

"Are you drunk... no wait don't answer, I can smell you from here"

"I want to see Peyton", he mumbled moving towards the door, but was halted by Brooke.

"No way Broody."

"Why have you lost her... do I need to save her?"

Rolling her eyes Brooke sighed, "No Luke, she doesn't need saving".

"Okay", Lucas said shrugging his shoulders and making another move to the doorway.

"Whoa, stop right there. She does not need to see you," she stated grabbing onto his arm and preventing him from moving.

"No... No... I need... I need to see her... Peyton."

"Why?" Brooke asked. She was intrigued by the way he seemed to not be giving up even though he was obviously unable to form coherent sentences.

"She... she hates me, and... I... she..." he trailed off.

"She, what?"

"She needs... to love me... True Love Always".

"Luke".

Suddenly headlights appeared down the road coming closer to the house until the car stopped. Stepping out, Nathan jogged to the pair stopping by Brooke.

"What's wrong? On the phone you sounded scared."

"It was Lucas".

"What?" Turning to his brother, Nathan noticed the swaying. "Luke are you drunk".

"He's beyond drunk; a minute ago he was being sick all over my driveway".

"Nate... I need to see... Peyton... but she won't let me." Lucas said turning to his brother.

"Okay... come on, I'm taking you home". Nathan replied moving to take his arm, but Lucas snatched it away.

"No... You hate... me too."

"I don't hate you Luke... I'm just disappointed okay. Now come on lets get you out of here". Managing to grab Lucas' arm he pulled him towards the car with Brooke on the other side helping to hold him up.

"Thanks Nate." Brooke said.

"Anytime, I'm always here".

Opening the door Nathan let go of Lucas who took the opportunity to pull his arm from Brooke and sprint towards the house. Stumbling inside he closed the door quickly and began to make his way unsteadily down the hall calling for Peyton as he did so. Eventually he reached his destination and threw the bedroom open revelling the woman in question standing the other side.

After hearing, the noise from outside Peyton had tried to block it out unsuccessfully, and then the calls from outside her room had her out of bed to investigate. Of course, what she had not expected was an incredibly drunk Lucas Scott falling to his knees before her, and wrapping his arms around her waist like his life depended on it.

"Lucas"

"Peyton... I'm sorry... please don't... don't hate me". Lucas said looking up at her.

"Luke", she sighed not sure what to do with him. Noticing the tears falling down his cheeks she reached a hand down to wipe them away. She could only count on one hand how many times she had seen Lucas cry and even then, he had not sounded so... broken.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he repeated in a whisper pressing his face to her abdomen.

Sighing she began to run her hand through his hair while the other rubbed his shoulder. This situation was definitely going to be a setback in her earlier theory of letting him go.

"Peyton", Brooke said quietly interrupting the scene between the two blondes.

"What do I do?" Peyton asked looking at her friends.

Stepping forward Nathan answered her, "I think you've already done it".

Hearing his words Peyton looked down and noticed Lucas had become quiet. Obviously, the drink had begun to wear off and sleep had claimed the broken man. The only evidence of his breakdown were the tear tracks marking his cheeks.

"Now what". Brooke asked.

"Peyton, if I grab his shoulder can you step back". Nathan asked taking his brothers arms.

Nodding Peyton moved back as Lucas's arms dropped to his side. Gently Nathan managed to lift his brother up into a fireman's carry. Careful of the doors he manoeuvred outside to the hall, turning quickly to address the two women.

"Will you be okay now"?

Nodding Brooke kept her gaze on Peyton's frown. "Yeah, I think. Thanks Nate."

"I'll be round in the morning."

With that, he turned and left with Lucas over his shoulder. Hearing the door close Brooke pulled Peyton over to the bed by her hand and sat down next to her.

"Peyton".

"He asked me why I loved him". Peyton sighed.

"What... when".

"Yesterday... can you believe it? After everything he's put me through lately he actually asks me why I love him."

"What did you say"?

"It's who I am... I think I really am going to love him forever... I tried to let him go Brooke, I really did, but I can't."

"It's okay".

"But it's not... he doesn't seem to get it."

"Honey..."

Turning to Brooke, Peyton wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek away, "Why doesn't he ever fight for me... he just leaves me. I'm only the one-he wants when it's convenient. I told him to leave me alone... and what does he do, get drunk and come here apologising when he won't even remember it tomorrow.

"He's an idiot Peyton. Okay look, we are going to get you better, then you are going to find loads more successful artists for that amazing label of yours... and maybe then we can work on healing that heart of yours."

"How do you know that's even going to work"?

"... Because I believe, you can do it. Anyway you know I'm the upbeat one out of both us."

"All I wanted was for him to love me... but now... I'm just so tired".

"I know..." Brooke said understanding the hidden meaning in her friend's words.

Standing from the bed, she helped manoeuvre Peyton into a laying position. "I'm just down the hall okay". She stated pulling the sheets up and over her friend.

"Can you stay", Peyton whispered the tears still evident on her cheeks.

"Sure".

Moving into a position beside her friend Brooke turned the light off. Leaning her head on, Brookes shoulder, Peyton let the troubled sleep claim her. However even her dreams would not be an escape from Lucas.

He was everywhere, and for once she would give anything to forget him.

**xx**

_Cause all I wanna do is make you love me  
All I wanna do is make you love me  
All I wanna do is make you love me  
All I wanna do is make you love me__  
_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: In the next chapter... Karen visits Peyton... Lucas deals with his actions and makes a surprising decision. Let me know what you think.**


	8. My sundown

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews they were great. Hope you like the chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned by me... still. Song by Jimmy Eat World.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**MY SUNDOWN**

**xx**

_I see it around me  
I see it in everything  
I could be so much  
More than this_

_  
I said my goodbye's  
This is my sundown  
I'm gonna be so much  
More than this_

Keeping his head down and his shades firmly fixed onto his face, Lucas made a mental note to never again touch alcohol, especially when the results ended with him crying in the arms of Peyton.

Wincing as he recalled the embarrassing situation from last night, he looked around for a distraction. That was when he noticed the glow the sunlight cast around the cemetery; it was almost angelic. Considering he had seen more death then most at his age he had never noticed the peaceful qualities this place held.

Maybe that was why she often came here.

Weaving through the gravestones with a practised ease he soon reached his destination, his memory conjuring up painful memories as he glanced down upon the name.

_Keith Scott._

That day in the school still weighed heavily in his mind... and heart. It was about not only what he had lost, but also what he had been so close to losing, he knew he might never have survived if Peyton had died in the school.

However, it seemed now that he had lost her anyway, just in a different sense, and for that, he ached. Therefore, after waking earlier on his brother's couch he had sought out the comfort and solace that only speaking to his Uncle could provide.

He needed answers, but nobody could seem to provide him with them, not that he was expecting much by coming here.

Taking a seat in front of the Willow Tree, he leant back and removed his sunglasses, his eyes protesting the intrusion of the suns harsh rays. Massaging his temple to soothe his aching head, he took a deep breath and focused on the headstone.

"Hey Keith", he began rather awkwardly.

"To be honest I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing here... I still miss you though. I think I came because of Peyton, she once told me that she would come see her mother for guidance about things, and... I guess that's why I sought you out."

Sighing he leant his head back against the tree behind him.

"I suppose I'm sorry I don't come here more, but it hurts too much. I hate seeing you in the ground Keith, you were meant to always be here for me. I know it's not an excuse but..."

Running his hands tiredly over his face, he shook his head, then moved forward and clasped his hands over his knees.

"... I suppose I should just get to the point. It's about Peyton... I... I need her Keith, but I just keep screwing it up. I'm hurting her and I'm disgusted with myself for that, but I don't know what to do. She makes me a better man when I'm with her, but then my ridiculous pride makes me do something idiotic."

The wind picked up slowly moving the branches of the tree overhead, blocking out the sunlight, which shone down on him.

"She came back to me. After everything I did by leaving her in LA, she actually came home. But I ruined it... I don't know what I was trying to achieve, maybe I was trying to make her realise she should never have turned me down, by moving on with Lindsey... it worked. I was getting married to a woman I never loved like I should have, because I refused to see that Peyton was the one I needed in my life. I hurt two women with my ridiculous actions and now... now she hates me. I can see it in her eyes, Peyton always gives her true feelings away in her eyes, and the anger there is just... it's killing me Keith."

Looking away from the headstone, he was flooded with guilt and shame as Keith's name seemed to bear down on him.

"You'd be so disappointed in me; I know Mum is she just won't say it. She always preferred Peyton to any other girl I dated, maybe I should have taken that as a sign. I seem to be turning into Dan, but I can't seem to stop. Why couldn't I have waited for her? I just let her go, and now I regret everything I have done that has hurt her, but what can I do?"

Leaning forward he chuckled hollowly as the sun filtered through the leaves of the branches above.

"I'm the one that saves her Keith. So tell me, because I really need to know, how I can save her this time. How can I rescue her... from me"?

"You can't".

"What", he said turning to the woman, he considered his best friend.

"She doesn't want saving Luke. All Peyton wanted was your heart, but you wouldn't give it to her".

"Why are you here Hales?" he sighed as he shrugged off her answer.

Rolling her eyes at Lucas's disregard of her words she sat down beside him. "I was worried about you, after last night...," she said trailing off.

"Sorry. I needed to clear my head."

"Hangover or guilt?"

"Both."

"Okay", she said turning to the headstone.

"I was just..." Lucas began feeling the need to explain his sudden appearance at his uncle's grave.

"I know... we miss you Keith." Turning back to her friend she sighed, "Look Luke..."

"I don't need a lecture Hales, I know last night was stupid. That's why I left earlier; I didn't want to fight with you and Nate."

"You know, he doesn't hate you".

"He told you that?"

"He's my husband, and your brother. You cannot be angry with him, he was just concerned... and nobody hates you. I'm worried about you Lucas," She said rubbing his arm softly.

"I know, I just... I don't know what to do Hales".

"Give her some space".

"I can't".

"From where I'm sitting, you don't have much choice. Look if you don't leave her alone for a while you're going to lose her for good."

"What?"

Sighing Haley ran a hand through her hair. "She can't live like this anymore; it's obviously making her ill. She loves you, and that seems to be the problem."

"I know".

"Are you sure, because the Lucas that I knew would never make Peyton suffer that much. Not when he had finally gained her heart after years of wanting it."

"She told me she loved me", he said lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Yeah, and from what I heard she also said she was letting you move on. You had her Luke, but you let her go."

"She said no."

"Please", Haley scoffed.

"Why are you being like this?" He questioned.

"What do you want Lucas. Do you want me to tell you a pack of lies to make your conscience feel better? Well I can't. We're not seventeen anymore, you can't keep playing with her heart." Haley said her voice rising as her anger built.

"You think I don't know that".

"Do you, because to be honest with you, you're acting worse then you did then. Look you need to choose, only the other day you were standing on the alter with Lindsey, and now you're claiming you still love Peyton".

"I never said I loved her".

"For the love of..." standing, Haley walked a few steps before turning back and throwing her hands up in frustration. "Don't be so blind Luke, everyone knows the one you want is Peyton, and you never stopped loving her. You just chose to ignore that because she hurt you. Well what have you been doing to her since she came home, you basically shoved Lindsey in her face at every opportunity. You broke her heart again and again... that's why she wants to let you go, because loving you is killing her."

"I was in love with Lindsey when I proposed, you know that."

"I believe you, but you didn't love her like you should have."

"You don't know that".

"Luke, you kissed Peyton beforehand, you even used the same ring.

"She kissed me, and I never meant for Lindsey to find the ring."

"What?" Haley asked confused.

"I..." looking away Lucas sighed.

"Tell me", she pleaded. By the way, he kept his gaze off her it was obviously something important.

Taking a breath, he gave into telling his friend the truth. "I never meant to propose. She found the ring in my drawer, and when I came home her bags were packed."

"So you decided to ask her to marry you, that's... I can't believe you Luke".

"I know it was stupid, but I panicked. Peyton had just told me all these things and I..."

"You ran".

"No, I asked someone to marry me who I knew would not say no".

"That's selfish".

"Is it. When I asked Peyton years ago, I loved her more then anything, and I thought I was losing her. So I did the one thing I could do. I wanted her to be my wife, it was my dream, but she destroyed it."

"She wanted to wait. You know her Luke, yet you couldn't trust her enough to let her have some time."

"I did trust her, but she hurt me".

"And you hurt her, you keep on hurting her."

"I didn't mean to."

"Are you sure you don't because you seem to do it a lot. Look I know it sounds like I'm just picking on you but someone needs to make you change, because the way you're going you will lose the one woman you need in your life."

"I care about her, and I need her in my life, but I don't love her, not anymore".

Tilting her head she stared at him and sighed. "You're lying. She told you to leave her alone so you are pretending not to love her. You need to let go of this defensive nature against her you seem to have."

"Am I that predictable?" He said looking away.

"No you're easy to read."

"I don't know if I love her. I do know I want her, but that doesn't matter anymore."

"It does. Do what she wants and everything will work out in the end."

"Then what... say I leave and go with my mum. Then what do I do Haley."

Moving forward she crouched down in front of her friend and touched his arm. "You come back after figuring out how much she means to you and then you fight for her. All she wants is to be your first choice."

"She is."

"... but she doesn't know that."

Nodding Lucas stood and hugged Haley, before silently turning and heading home. It was decided, not necessarily by him, as he never had a choice. Lucas Scott was going to leave Tree Hill, and when he returned Peyton Sawyer would be his.

_xx_

_With one hand high  
You'll show them your progress  
You'll take your time  
But no one cares  
No one cares_

_  
I need you to show me  
The way from crazy  
I wanna be so much  
More than this_

_xx_

She was bored to the point of insanity. Sleep had eluded her and it was his entire fault. After the events of last night, she had only slept for a few hours before her dreams were filled with memories of their epic romance.

So now, this gave her extra fuel to think he had gone too far.

Shaking her head at the thought, she sighed. He had been beyond drunk and she still could not believe the events that had occurred. Never would she have thought that the normally collected Lucas Scott would break so severely.

He was like her now. _Broken._

They really were compatible. She knew that as much as she needed him, and he wanted to save her, maybe they needed some time apart. Now it seemed every time they were in close contact with one another she shouted at him, and he apologised.

But they were empty. There had always been two things she could rely on Lucas for... the hero act, and his empty words. Luckily, for her lately she had become immune to both, and now he was beginning to irritate her.

She still loved him of course, and more then likely always would. She was just starting to think that maybe Brooke had been right, she could learn to live without him. Surely, it would be worth a try.

Sighing she lifted the covers up over her head and let out a muffled shout of frustration.

"Why is it every time I see you, you're pretending to be in a tent."

Cringing as the voice echoed around the room, Peyton pulled the sheets down and smiled.

"Hey Karen", she said sheepishly.

Moving forward Karen smiled and sat down beside the younger woman on the bed, taking hold of her hand.

"How are you today?"

"Bored."

"You need a distraction", Karen said looking around the rather empty room.

"Brooke took my music; apparently it stops me from resting properly."

"She's right".

"You're not meant to agree with her", Peyton said, a small smile on her lips.

"You forget I've heard your music. It's rather loud."

"It's soulful".

"You know that's exactly what Lucas said when I asked him about his new taste in songs in High School."

"Mm".

"Sorry", Karen said realising that maybe Peyton did not want to hear that piece on information.

"It's okay. He's your son; you shouldn't not talk about him because of me."

Looking to her side Karen noticed the drawing of Peyton in a box, and began to laugh. "You drew this", she asked.

"Yeah, I did it yesterday to annoy Brooke."

"Don't feed the animals?" Karen questionned.

"I was using the whole zoo theme, might have gotten carried away though".

"It's good Peyton."

"So how long are you going for"? Peyton asked changing the subject. She still had a slight problem being able to take a compliment.

"Only 8 days, we'll be back for the party that Brooke keeps reminding me about," she stated, earning a small laugh from Peyton.

"You are coming back then".

"Of course Honey. Look I know you have that saying you seem to live by, but just because people leave does not mean they don't care about you."

"I know".

"Good, because sometimes they come back. Just rememeber that okay. Now are you up to coming outside." Holding a hand up to stop the interruption she smiled, "don't worry Brooke actually suggested it?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing it's just Lucas is outside and he has an announcement that can't wait. So do you want to come into the lounge?"

"Yeah... I need to stretch my legs", she answered her voice faltering slightly. The truth was she did not really want to see him, but it sounded important.

Taking Karen's hand she slowly stood from the bed and wrapped the dressing gown around herself, before following the older woman out the door. As they made it to the room where the others were she wrapped her arms around Karen as she said a goodbye. Apparently, his mother already new the news and was leaving to make sure the other two were ready to go.

As the front door closed, Peyton sighed and went to sit, when suddenly a pair of hands grabbed her arms and helped to lower her onto the couch. Ready to thank whoever helped her she looked up, shocked as Lucas' face came into view. Not trusting her voice, she just nodded and let a small smile grace her features as he looked into her eyes.

Stepping away Lucas moved across the room to stand before his family as he cleared his throat. Haley gave him an encouraging look, while Nathan and Brooke glared at him because of his actions towards the blonde woman a few seconds ago. They were not going to make this easy. Taking a deep breath he gazed at Peyton and for the first time in his life was unable to read her, she just looked exhausted.

"Broody, we all have things to do, and some of us need to go back to bed." Brooke said as she took Peyton's hand.

"Sorry", he whispered. "Okay, first I... erm..."

"Luke", Haley said encouragingly.

"... I'm sorry about last night. I have no excuses to give, I just... I'm sorry."

"Don't do it again", Brooke answered, cringing as she remembered the events.

"I won't".

"No not the drinking thing... the being sick all over our driveway thing."

"I cleaned it up" he stated looking down.

"Okay then." Then as an afterthought Brooke added, "I'm still angry with you though."

Nodding he looked at her, "I know... I'm angry with myself. I really am sorry; I made a fool of myself for nothing."

"Got me out of bed as well", Nathan argued, as Haley nudged his arm to quiet him.

"I'd gathered by the amount of times you told me." Lucas replied, rolling his eyes at his brother.

"You said that was the first thing". Peyton stated, speaking for the first time.

"Yeah I did... well the second point... is..." he began before he trailed off. For some reason he could not find the words he needed.

"Lucas", Brooke sighed in frustration at how long this was taking.

"Sorry... the other thing is... I'm leaving town".

"What?" Brooke said, tightening her hold on Peyton's hand. Looking over at her friend, she noticed her closed eyes. This was not good.

"I'm leaving". He repeated looking towards Peyton as well.

"Are you coming back", Nathan asked.

Turning his attention to his brother he winced, "I don't really know".

"You're not coming back with your Mum." Haley said, even she had not realised he would be gone that long.

"I don't know." As the others quietened and just nodded, he looked at the woman he wanted to react to this information. "Peyton..." he whispered.

Realising someone was addressing her; she opened her eyes and looked around at the others whose attention was focused on her. "Can I go back to bed now"? She asked Brooke.

Confused, the brown-haired woman shared a look with Haley and Nathan who just shrugged their shoulders.

"Brooke." she said, waiting for an answer.

"Oh sorry Honey. You don't have to ask me to go to bed, but do you need some help?" She answered softly.

"No I think I can manage. If you hear a thump though, feel free to investigate."

Standing Peyton moved around the couch and began to slowly move away from the group, stopping as she heard a laugh. Turning she raised an eyebrow at Lucas.

"Is that it?" he asked angrily.

"What?"

"I tell you I'm leaving and you say nothing."

"Okay..." Looking upward, she pretended to think for a moment before her gaze moved back to him and she spoke. "Thank you for telling me... _this time_... that you're leaving."

"That's not fair".

Throwing her hands up in frustration, she stepped towards him, "What exactly are you after Lucas. Do you want me to say I do not want this to be goodbye? Do you want me to tell I love you, and I always will? Do you want me cry and watch you walk away from me? Well I've already done that before, and it didn't get me anywhere, so what's the point."

"The point is I'm leaving and you don't care." He shouted.

"You selfish idiot. How dare you question me about whether I care. Of course I do, I love you Lucas, but you don't love me, so why should I stop you from going."

"I'm leaving for you".

"What?"

"This is what you wanted. You told me to leave you alone."

"I never said leave town, I just wanted some space. I don't know why I'm surprised you seem to have changed my words around... but you know what now I've thought about it, you should go."

"Peyton..." he sighed.

"Does your Mum know?" she asked.

"Yes". He answered confused by the strange question.

"Then you've already decided to leave... so go." She said using the little strength; she had left to push him in the direction of the door.

"Stop it". He urged grabbing her hands from his chest.

"Let go". Pulling her arms away, she stepped back and laughed hollowly. "What do you want Luke?"

"I want you to let me in."

"That's all I've ever done, and all I got from that was hurt, so no I'm not letting you in... not again".

"... But I..."

"No. I don't want to hear you empty promises and apologies. Please Luke just go; I'm tired of fighting with you."

"Peyton..."

"Guys... I hate to interrupt but I think you should stop, before someone says something they're going to regret." Haley said as she stepped forward.

"She's right. Peyton you're swaying so we need to get you back to bed, okay". Brooke added.

Nodding Peyton took hold of her friends arm and began to move away.

"Peyton". Lucas called as he began to walk after her.

Turning her head, she signalled Brooke to stop for a moment. Sighing she looked at him tiredly, "What Luke?"

Moving forward he took her arms and pulled her into him. In one swift movement, he leant down and captured her lips with his own, hoping to convey his feelings in one, small kiss. He could feel a slight movement from her, she was responding, which meant whatever it was between them was still there.

It ended all too quickly and pulling away he smiled as he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

"People may leave, but I promise I'm coming back, and then... I'm fighting for you this time Peyton. I'm going to be the man you deserve." He said urging her to believe his words. Dropping his arms, he turned swiftly and moved out of the house, closing the door on his way out, before anyone could say anything.

After his departure, the group stood there taking in Peyton's shocked appearance. She was still swaying slightly with Brooke holding her arm to steady her, but her lips were swollen and there was a look in her eyes that no one had seen for a while.

Hope.

_xx_

_Good goodbye... lovely time  
Good goodbye... to sunshine  
Good goodbye... I'll be fine  
Good goodbye  
Good goodnight  
_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: Sorry this update was slow, but I was about to upload it days ago when I decided to re-write the whole thing... as you do. So I hope you liked the new chapter.**

**Coming up ... Lucas is gone and Karen helps him to realise something... plus party preparations.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	9. Lie in the sound

**A/N: Thank you so much for the great reviews, they were amazing. It's great you are all enjoying this. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned. Song by Trespassers William.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**LIE IN THE SOUND**

**xx**

_I love you more than I should  
So much more than is good for me  
More than is good_

_Oh the timing is cruel  
Oh I need and don't want to need  
More than I should_

_I am falling, say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love, but whatever  
My heart needs around_

**xx**

Today was a good day, or at least better then the others she had experienced lately.

She finally had her music back, and now she was able to sit in the lounge rather then being held hostage in her bedroom.

Overall, was happier then she had been of late.

However, there was something wrong, nothing drastic, but nevertheless it was still there. A feeling deep in the pit of her stomach, which was the result of Lucas Scott.

It was the kiss. The one that had been plaguing her thoughts for nearly a week, and seemed unwilling to let her forget. The result of one simple kiss meant that she had renewed hope, something she never thought would happen again.

Then again, this time it was different to the one they shared in Tric a few weeks ago. It was not the kiss itself, which was changed, but the look in Lucas' eyes as he pulled away. There was no shame, guilt or even pity... but something else. She wanted to believe it was love; however, she knew was only fooling herself to think that.

She was weak when it came to him, and he knew that. Hell, he had used that as ammunition almost, at the end of their argument the other day. Kissing her seemed to be a way to weaken her resolve, and it worked. She had been so shocked by his actions that she had failed to notice him leave until the door had closed.

He did not love her though, not anymore. When she had first returned to Tree Hill she thought, it may be a possibility that he was pining for her, as she was for him. Unfortunately months of being told he felt nothing for her, had finally made her believe it.

So here she was, contemplating a kiss, which to her meant hope, but to him probably meant nothing more then a goodbye.

The clatter of pans from the kitchen area interrupted her musing, and she stifled a groan at what that sound meant. She loved Brooke, but there was one thing in life her best friend had never mastered. It seemed the art of cooking had overlooked her. Personally, she blamed the Doctor for placing her on this healthy eating plan.

That meant that unless Haley was here to cook edible food, she was left in the hands of the woman who thought preparing food meant lifting a phone for takeout.

Suddenly a knock on the door restored her content feeling, and she called out loudly, "Haley, please let that be you".

"Thanks Sawyer way to make me feel appreciated", Nathan said walking through the door.

"Is your wife there"?

"I'm here, why, did you miss me?" Haley asked as she walked in behind her husband.

"I'm having an emergency". Peyton said shifting on the couch and hugging Haley.

"What's wrong?" The other woman asked, beginning to get worried.

"Look over at the kitchen". Peyton replied with a nod.

"Oh." Nathan said, as he sat in the chair.

"Oh... what do you mean by 'Oh' Nathan Scott, and think carefully before you answer..." Brooke asked loudly from her place her by the fridge. "... And you are very close to going to your room."

"You know normally I'd laugh, but I don't think she's lying", Peyton said looking at Haley and Nathan.

"Tutor Mum can you come here please?" Brooke called interrupting any response that the pair were about to give Peyton.

Laughing at her friends pleading face, Haley leant towards Peyton and whispered, "She's not that bad at cooking".

"Please. Do you remember the cabbage soup incident the other night?" Nathan scoffed.

"He's right; it looked like the soup scene from the Exorcist." Peyton added holding a cushion up to the side of her head, "Wait for it", she said at the questioning look of her two friends. Suddenly a large ball of paper came flying from the kitchen and hit the cushion with a thud.

"What the...?" Haley asked trailing off.

"She does that whenever she hates my sarcasm. You only get hit once by it, before you learn countermeasures."

"Makes sense". Nathan said with a laugh.

"Haley please take over... some people won't stop complaining", Brooke whined coming over to the group.

"Okay, but only because Jamie can't afford to have me and Nate both sick with food poisoning."

"Ouch Hales", Peyton, said laughing at the glare Brooke gave. Reaching over she pulled her best friend onto the couch and changed the topic. "How's the party plans going".

"Oh it's great; I've got everyone going over to Naley's house on Saturday. The food and drink is prepared, I just need your music ideas." Brooke answered excitedly.

"What's it for again?" Nathan asked.

Rolling her eyes at his question, Brooke nudged Peyton with her shoulder softly, "It's a 'well done I'm so glad your skinny ass never keeled over ' get together."

"Wow you managed to hurt me with your words; you've been spending way too much time with your mother". Peyton said dramatically placing a hand over her heart.

"Take that back". Brooke argued.

Pretending to think about Peyton let out a smile, "No".

"Fine... then you're going back to bed."

"What".

"You heard me... come on". Getting up from the couch Brooke began to pull Peyton up by her hand.

"Wait, fine... I take it back. I'm sorry, you're nothing like Bitchtoria."

"I knew you'd cave." Brooke stated proudly, seating herself back on the couch and ignoring Peyton's glare. "Stop trying to kill me with your evil look... you love me too much."

"You two are worse then Jamie", Nathan said laughing. As they turned their attention towards him, he panicked, as suddenly they seemed to have set their sights set on him. "Erm Hales... let me help", he called getting up from his seat quickly.

Laughing Peyton turned to Brooke shaking her head softly, "You're a Bitch ."

"So are you ... makes life more interesting don't you think"?

And she did.

Leaning her head against Brooke's shoulder, Peyton closed her eyes and took the time to just listen to her friends... her family. She knew that after Lucas had kissed her, all the hope she had lost recently had returned tenfold, and he would probably make her lose it again.

But this time, with this amazing group of people around her, she would survive another rejection from the man who continued to break her.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Oh my sheet is so thin  
So I say I can't sleep because  
It's so very cold_

_Oh but I know what I need  
And if you were just near to me  
Would you go..._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_He was lost and he was tired. Noticing his ragged breathing he realised he was running. Deciding he had no idea why, he slowed his pace down until he came to a complete stop. Leaning heavily against something he took in a few deep breaths, slowly gaining control._

_Taking a look around he noticed he was leaning against a locker and began to move his gaze around. He was in High School. On the floor were dozens of discarded bags and suddenly from behind someone whispered his name. Turning he looked at his brother who held a baseball bat, and then noticed he to held a bat._

_"Luke, come on we have to find Haley."_

_Shaking his head, he looked down, and then he noticed it... blood. _

_"Look." He said pointing to the red trail along the corridor._

_"Blood, but whose." Nathan asked._

_"Peyton" he whispered with recognition. The school shooting. Looking up at his brother horrified, he managed to stutter out a quick explanation as he moved to the library. "I... I have to go. Find Haley"._

_"Okay"._

_Not waiting for his brother to leave this time Lucas carefully opened the door, careful not to make any noise. He could hear a painful whimpering coming from behind the bookcase, and instantly knew who it was. Placing the baseball bat on the counter as he passed, he turned the corner of the case and found the woman he had been searching for._

_"Peyton", he cried._

_"Luke... it hurts. I... I cut it on some glass," she whispered shakily._

_Moving towards her he bent down and examined her leg, wincing when he realised it was in fact a bullet. Going to remove his shirt so he could stop the blood he wavered as the time seemed to shift._

_Now he was seated beside her as she began to shake. Taking hold of her hand, he stroked her palm with his thumb._

_"Luke", she whispered. "If I tell you I love you would you hold it against me... 'cause I've lost a lot of blood."_

_Smiling softly his heart skipped a beat as he took in her words. As she asked him to move closer, he was helpless to stop himself. Then she leant forward and kissed him, and he let her._

_"Just in case you can't keep you promise", she stated softly._

_Pulling away, he watched in horror as her eyes rolled upwards and she slowly began to fall backwards._

_"Peyton", he cried._

_Leaning forward he was helpless to do anything as she begun to gasp for air._

_"Shh, Peyton... Peyton please... look at me."_

_Gradually her eyes opened and she looked at him frightened, as she took hold of his hand._

_"I'm sorry... I... I love you"._

_"I love you too... I do... don't leave me... you can't". He pleaded as her eyes closed once more, and her breathing stopped. "No... Peyton you promised... Peyton..."_

xx

"Peyton".

Crying out her name, his eyes opened and he began to take in deep breaths to calm himself. Shakily he lifted himself so he was in a seated position and began to rub his eyes tiredly.

This was becoming an unwanted habit. Six days... six nightmares, each one worse then the last. He thought that by escaping Tree Hill, he may be able to sort through his problematic mind, but instead he was plagued by Peyton.

Slowly dropping his arms, he held one hand out as he noticed something. He was shaking. This was definitely new for him, never before had he been this affected by his nightmares. Then again, this one had been so much worse.

Beginning to feel suffocated by his sweat-filled shirt he pulled it away from his skin before letting it go, and sighing when the cloth settled against his skin again.

This needed to stop; he would not survive on no sleep. It was obvious that his subconscious was trying to show him something. The thing was he already knew he needed her, but maybe he had fear of losing her. After all that was partly the reason, he had proposed to her.

It was the daily phone calls with Haley that had triggered this. He constantly asked how Peyton was doing, and he always received the same answer. She was fine, and he was okay with that answer, because he did not expect much more.

What hurt him though, was not once had Haley said that Peyton asked about him. He knew she was aware he spoke to Haley. Did she not care whether he was okay?

He missed her, but it seemed the feeling was not returned.

It was probably his fault. He should never have kissed her before he went. What kind of man would do that? However, they had always been a pair who shared ill timed and destructive kisses, so why should now be any different.

This time was different, he was sure of it. In his actions, he was making her a promise. He would return to her, he was just not sure when.

Hearing a knock on the door he broke himself out of his reverie and looked up, calling out to the person to enter. The wooden door opened and his mother stepped into the small room, giving him a smile. Walking forward Karen perched herself in front of him on the bed and considered the state her son seemed to be in.

If she looked close enough she could make out dark circles under his eyes, he looked exhausted. This trip was meant to help him heal; instead, it seemed to be making him worse. The all too familiar tortured look was in his eyes and his brow was creased which could only mean that he was brooding.

She needed to talk to him before he broke anymore then he already had, and he began to withdraw from everyone.

"What are you doing to yourself Lucas?" she whispered, placing a hand on his arm lightly.

"Nothing", he sighed.

"Honey, I'm your mother which means I can see right through any front you put up."

"...I..." he began before trailing off.

"Talk to me", she urged.

Shifting backwards, he leant against the headboard bringing his knees up towards his chest and resting his arms on them. He did not know what to say to her, but she spoke again before he could think of anything.

"Luke... is this about the nightmares." At his questioning look, she shrugged and continued. "You shout out in your sleep every night. Are they about Peyton?"

"I'm sorry if I woke you".

"Don't be... just let me in."

Nodding he looked down and began to answer her, "The first one wasn't that bad, but they've been getting worse, and tonight's... I was in the library again, it was the shooting... but this time I was too late to save her... she looked so scared, but she told me she loved me and then... I... I lost her, I can't..."

Looking at her son as he tortured himself she leant forward and wrapped him in her arms. He was shaking and it was beginning to scare her. Never before had Lucas been so unravelled.

"Shh... it's just a dream".

After a few moments, he pulled away and ran a hand over his face tiredly.

"But it could have been real. If I had gotten there too late, or... I don't know... I love her, I can't lose her."

"You didn't get there too late, she's alive."

"Yeah, but what about last week. Mum, she collapsed because I've been an idiot. It's my entire fault."

"No it's not. Look, you didn't exactly help matters, but at the same time if you ask her, she knows it was partly her fault. Unfortunately you both are as bad as each other."

A moment passed as Lucas absorbed her words. It was true, they both hurt each other, and it was time to stop. With a sigh he said what was really bothering him, "you know everyday I've been talking to Haley and not once has Peyton asked about me. I think I've pushed her too far this time."

"What do you mean?" Karen asked confused by his statement.

"I kissed her before I left. She was so angry with me, and I just wanted to show her I meant everything I was saying. She wouldn't listen to me when I said I was coming back to her"

"Oh Lucas".

"I know I was stupid, and I probably made everything worse. I just... I..."

"You love her", she provided.

"... Yeah..." he sighed. "I just don't know what to do now, she wants me to keep away, and even Haley told me to do as what Peyton wants.

"Look Luke... I spoke to Peyton before I left. She doesn't hate you, she's just tired of you playing games... but if you love her, then go back."

"She told me to stay away."

"No... Peyton asked you to give her some space. Not get on a boat and sail along the coast to another state."

"I thought I was doing what she wanted."

"Luke answer something for me... have you ever asked her what she wants, or do you just assume."

"... I..." he said trailing off.

"Honey I hate to tell you this but think about it. Peyton has that saying of hers..."

"People always leave", he whispered.

"Yes... now instead of showing her you love her, all you've done is prove her right. Do you know what she wants you to do, because after one conversation with her, I can tell you?"

"No, she says she wants space, so I leave, and then she gets annoyed with me."

"Okay think back to when you broke up with Brooke, you went on about how you were going to win her back. The same happened with Lindsey before you proposed. But honestly, can you ever recall a time when you fought for Peyton."

"... I... no." he said sorrowfully. "I never had to because she always took the first step."

"Well there's your answer Luke. For once, you need to choose her, and let her know that you will never leave her. I know it can be hard, but Peyton needs you reassurance that she's your first choice, for some reason she always looks like your second."

"She's not, she never has been."

"But does she know that."

"You're the second person to say that to me", he said shaking his head softly.

"Let me guess... Haley... Well it's nice to know someone was listening to my speeches all those years ago."

"I listened", he protested.

"If you had, I don't think you would be in this mess Honey. I'm sorry if it seems mean but it's true."

"I know..." Leaning forward he hugged Karen, "Thanks Mum, I needed that."

"Anytime, now what are you going to do."

"I think I'm going to a party".

"Good. I'm proud of you Lucas. Now get some sleep". With that, she stood and left the room as silently as she had entered.

It was decided, he was going back... going to Peyton... going home.

He had finally realised what he needed in life. It was not... basketball..., writing…, or travelling. It was her, the one woman he had always needed.

After all, he once claimed to love Peyton Sawyer forever, and at this moment... as he lay in bed on his mother's boat, staring at the ceiling, he realised...

Truer words had never been spoken.

**xx**

_I am falling, say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love, but whatever  
My heart needs around_

_And it needs you too much now_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A/N: I hope you liked that chapter, I was originally going to update on Sunday but it was my birthday so I was a bit sidetracked. **

**In the next chapter... The party is underway... and someone makes a surprise appearance.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	10. Tears from the moon

**A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed, they were amazing; I love to know what everyone thinks. Okay this chapter was too long, so I split it into two, therefore technically this is part one.**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned. Song by Conjure One featuring Sinead O'Connor.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**TEARS FROM THE MOON**

**xx**

_Couldn't sleep so I went out walking  
Thinking about you and hearing us talking  
And all the things I should have said  
Echo now, inside my head_

_I_ _feel something falling from the sky  
I'm so sad I made the angels cry_

_Tears from the moon  
Fall down like rain  
I reach for you  
I reach in vain_

_xx_

PRESENT

x

'Time is a healer', that is what everyone always says... but they are wrong.

Something said or done at the wrong time can destroy. It can tear down walls people carefully build around their heart... it can diminish any hope they have left. It can just plain and simple, hurt people.

Time wise, it was two hours, that was all, no more, no less. One hundred and eighty minutes Lucas had, had before he had completely messed up his carefully thought out plan.

It should have been simple. Come home with his mother, stay out of the way for a few days, show up at the party, and gain Peyton back in his life. Three easy tasks and a conclusion he would need to work at. However, it seemed something out there, a force of greater power, did not want him to succeed.

Therefore, he had done nothing right and instead pushed Peyton further away then he had before. It was not the first three steps in his plan, but the last. He had failed.

His effort had been futile and now... well that was the problem, he had nothing.

Moving slowly along the pavement his body seemed to be growing heavier with each step his aching feet took. Reaching the River Court, he sighed in relief. If there were, one place that could take his mind off his increasingly depressing life it would be the old basketball court. Stepping onto the tarmac, he closed his eyes breathing the chilled air in calmly, before he was interrupted by footsteps behind him. Preparing himself for the scolding he was about to receive he realised he deserved it.

There was so much he should have said; instead, he had let her go.

_xx_

_TWO HOURS BEFORE_

_xx_

_The party was in full swing and everyone was gathered in the back garden of Naley's house. Nathan and Skills were showing Jamie how to make the perfect jump shot, while Peyton, Brooke and Haley sat at the outside table talking._

_It was calming being outside of the house for the first time in over a week, and Peyton was not going to waste a single second. She was dressed in a deep purple summer dress, courtesy of Brooke, who refused to let her leave the house in jeans. Apparently if she was going to faint again, she was going to do it in style._

_Smiling at the memory, she shook her head, Brooke always had, had a way with words. Her friend was; however doing everything in her power to make sure Peyton would heal... and she had. The doctor yesterday had told her she was no longer on bed rest, providing she took it easy. That to Brooke though, meant no work for another week, and only leaving the house to meet up with the others._

_Come to think of it, she was not too sure; she was off the house arrest yet._

_Reaching for a glass of water, she nodded to Haley's question about whether she had seen Karen. The older woman, had returned earlier then expected, and had visited Peyton on both days before the party. When told that it was not necessary for her to keep checking on her, Karen had just raised an eyebrow and replied that she was going to anyway, because she was family._

_That had just made her tear up, and thank the Karen for the time she spent. That was one thing she had never been able to fathom. Karen welcomed her with open arms, while Lucas struggled to admit his feelings to her. _

_Noticing her thoughts going towards him, she silently thanked the person at the door that rang the bell. _

_"I'll get it", Mouth called from inside._

_Leaning back in the chair Peyton soaked up the sun, as she laughed at a comment Haley made about Nathan accidentally walking straight into the Patio window earlier. Apparently he had not been paying attention and that was the reason for the slightly red cheek he was sporting. Not sunburn, as he had announced earlier to save face._

_"Karen", Haley said happily, as she stood and hugged the woman, before moving onto Lily and Andy._

_Getting up from her seat Peyton smiled and walked into Karen's open arms, "How are you?" she asked._

_Laughing Peyton pulled back and replied, "Since yesterday when you saw me, I'm pretty much the same."_

_"Good... that's good". Karen said faltering slightly._

_"Why", she asked, slightly worried._

_"Well..." the older woman began before she was interrupted by a loud cry from Jamie._

_"Uncle Lucas"._

_"... Never mind", she finished as she noticed Peyton's attention had been lost._

_Snapping her head up Peyton looked on in awe as she took in the scene before her. Everyone was stood around him greeting him, but careful not to make too much fuss. It seemed everyone was treading on thin ice around the pair. Escaping her thoughts, she suddenly noticed the entire group's attention was on her. _

_Before she could think of anything to do, he was walking towards her, hands in his pockets and a small, nervous smile on his face. Reaching her, he moved his gave over her form. She was still here, his dreams had been wrong, and to him, she looked better then she had in years. Then again in his eyes she always looked perfect._

_"Peyton." He said softly._

_Stepping forward she wrapped her arms around him, placing her head briefly on his shoulder as she breathed in his scent. "You came back". _

_Letting out a relieved sigh, he held onto her tightly, before replying to her whispered comment, "I always will."_

_However, the moment was over all too quickly as Peyton realised what she was doing. It was unexpected and she scolded herself for giving into him so easily. Pulling away, she took a step back and wrapped her arms across her middle. "How are you?"_

_"I should be asking you that." Lucas replied with a smile. Inside however he was feeling the loss of holding her._

_"I'm fine... allowed outside now." Hearing a knowing cough from the side, she amended her statement, "...under Brooke's constant supervision."_

_"You're learning ." Her friend called._

_Chuckling Lucas looked between the pair before his gaze once more settled on Peyton, "has she been like that all week?"_

_"Pretty much... my own personal bodyguard." Peyton said smiling over at her best friend._

_"She always has your best interests at heart." He stated softly._

_"Yeah..." feeling uncomfortable with the conversation and being assaulted by images of their last encounter, Peyton looked away, "So I'm gonna go get a drink." With that she moved away from him and over to her friends, leaving Lucas alone._

_Frowning at her sudden distance Lucas sighed. It seemed to be going well and then he had to put his foot in it. A tug on his shirt pulled his attention away from his thoughts and he looked down at his sister._

_"Luke... come play with me and Jamie"._

_"Okay." He replied allowing himself to be dragged away. Trying to glance Peyton's way as he passed he became hurt as she avoided looking at him. All he wanted to do was have five minutes to explain himself, but it seemed like it was going to be harder then he originally thought._

_xx_

PRESENT

xx

Opening the front door to the house Brooke stumbled over the heaped jacket on the floor, cursing as she caught herself. Calming her breathing, she closed the door quietly and placed the keys on the table, before making her way through the house.

The three friends had decided to split up after the event at the party. Nathan went after Lucas, Haley stayed with Jamie, whilst Brooke, did what she did best... go after Peyton.

Coming to the room that held her best friend, or at least she hoped it did, Brooke gently knocked before she opened the door and stepped through. Only to be greeted by a sight she did not expect.

Her friend was not asleep, she was not even crying, instead she just sat there, leaning against the headboard and staring at the wardrobe.

"Peyton", Brooke whispered becoming increasingly worried by the sight. This was definitely a new one. Not getting a response, she moved to the bed and took a seat next to her.

Minuets passed as the silence in the room continued when eventually Peyton spoke.

"When I was little my Mum used to read 'The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe' to me."

"Okay..." Brooke said confused by the statement.

Sighing Peyton pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her arms on them. "It was my favourite; I used to beg her to read it. I loved the fact that there was another world in the closet... a place to escape."

"Is that what you want", she answered, finally gathering the point of Peyton's rambling.

"Don't... don't you ever just wish you could just escape. Things would be so much easier."

"People would miss you... I know I would."

"You could visit."

"True..." Taking hold of her friends hand Brooke looked at her questioningly. "Is that what you want to do…? Leave?"

"No... I... I don't know".

"It's okay if you do... no-one would judge you".

"Lucas would."

"Honey, he's the reason you want to leave, so he has no right to judge."

"... but I don't want to leave. I just want to be in a world where he doesn't hurt me."

"Is this about earlier."

Sighing Peyton looked away as tears began to cloud her vision. Thoughts of the event at the party took over her mind.

_xx_

_ONE HOUR EARLIER_

_xx_

_Stepping over to the bench Peyton held a glass of water in her hand as she took in the sunrise. So far, she had managed to avoid the man who held her heart, but she knew that eventually she would run into him... Again. Taking a sip of her drink, she felt the cool liquid running down her throat and it distracted her for a few moments._

_"Why are you avoiding me?"_

_Closing her eyes at the voice Peyton stifled the hollow laugh that wanted to release from her mouth. Typical, why did she fall in love with someone who knew her so well?_

_"Peyton", Lucas urged as he moved around her so he stood blocking her view._

_"What", she whispered._

_"You've been avoiding me for the last hour._

_"No I haven't", she argued._

_"Please", Lucas scoffed._

_"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Peyton sighed. This was hopeless, and she had an idea it was only going to lead to an argument._

_"Do you want me to"? He asked raising a hand to her cheek. "Look me in the eye, and tell me you want me to leave you alone."_

_Moving her gaze so she looked into his eyes, Peyton spoke coldly, "Leave me alone Lucas"._

_His hand instantly dropped from her cheek, and she cringed internally at the hurt look on his face... but she was tired of this... the game they seemed to be playing. Turning she went to move back to the group who, she noticed, were all watching their little exchange._

_"You're lying". He said with some conviction. Noticing her steps falter he moved after her, until eventually she stopped._

_"Luke", she pleaded._

_"Why Peyton... why are you suddenly being so cold. Earlier you were fine with me"._

_"No... I was being civil. Yes I hugged you, but I was surprised you came back, and I'm sorry about that."_

_"You don't have to apologise. Look I meant it when I said I will always come back to you."_

_"Why did you?"_

_"What?" he said reeling back slightly?_

_"Well the other day you seemed to want to go, and then you only managed to be away for a matter of days."_

_"I realised something..." At her questioning look he continued, "You said you wanted space. I can give you that but still be here if you need me."_

_Laughing Peyton shook her head, as she placed her glass on the nearby table, "this is what you call space... following me around everywhere I go"._

_"I'm trying to get you to talk to me."_

_"No you want me to let you apologise." She said moving closer to him._

_"Well you won't let me... why is that anyway?"_

_"... Because you don't mean it. You never do when it comes to me. I've heard all the lines before Lucas, and frankly they weren't that good the first time around."_

_"Peyt..."_

_"This is ridiculous. You need to stop, because I can't take it anymore." She interrupted, throwing her hands up in frustration._

_"Stop what?"_

_"Seeking me out, apologising, and hurting me. I love you Lucas, and I always will, but I said I was going to let you go."_

_"That was when I had Lindsey." As soon as he saw the look on her face, he realised what he had said. He was an idiot._

_"So what am I... the consolation prize?" Holding her hand up to stop him from replying she felt a tear course down her cheek slowly, "It's going to be hard for me... giving you up, but you know what it should be easy for you. You should have no problem giving me up, because let's face it; you stopped wanting me years ago."_

_"Peyton... I do want you, I always have"._

_"No you want the idea of me. You used to watch me right, but you never knew me. I thought you were different when we met, I thought you saw the real me... and you did, but when you found out I was a mess, you didn't want me anymore."_

_"You're wrong", he argued._

_"Am I. You know I have this dream, where we are back in that hotel room, and every single time I say yes... but I know it's just a dream. Just like your High School fixation was just your dream."_

_"Mine was more then that." Lucas said softly._

_"Dreams don't come true Luke, you know that... because if they did we would still be together." Peyton cried._

_"We can be"._

_"How... I don't trust you. You know the other day when you kissed me, I actually felt a small piece of hope, but then I realised it was futile. I have nothing left to give you that you haven't already destroyed."_

_"I just want you... ever since I left town I've been having nightmares where I lose you. I need you Peyton, please don't shut me out."_

_"I'm not shutting you out Luke, but I'm not letting you in either. Anyway why should I chase after you again when it's your fault we're in this mess?"_

_"You're right, it is my fault. I just want a chance to fix things..." He pleaded._

_"I've given you so many. I came back here for you Lucas, I told you that, but you were to busy trying to hurt me with your girlfriend to notice, I needed you."_

_"Are you blaming me for you hurting yourself", he asked in amazement._

_"No, I'm blaming you for only seeing what you want to. I seem to always be standing in your blind spot."_

_Running out of points for his argument Lucas thought of something he could do. Unfortunately he could not think of anything and reacted to the thing he had been craving for since he had laid eyes on her earlier. Stepping forward he pulled her into him, and crashed his lips onto hers._

_Shocked by his actions Peyton struggled for a few seconds but his hold was to strong. She knew she was being weak but her heart gave in and the next thing she knew she was responding to him. Deepening the kiss she lifted her hands and rested them on his chest._

_Feeling her response Lucas groaned as he pulled her closer. Cupping her cheeks with his hand, he let the feel of the kiss take him over. This was what he missed, the intimacy and passion that seemed to pour out of them whenever they were together._

_Unfortunately, the feeling was taken away all too quickly as a gasp from behind brought Peyton crashing back to reality. Pulling back abruptly her hand raised and connected to his cheek. She was angry and hurt that he kept on doing this to her._

_"How dare you", she shouted._

_Holding his cheek Lucas stepped forward again, "could you stop hitting me."_

_"Stop giving me a reason to. You can't just kiss me whenever you don't like what I have to say", she argued placing her hands on her hips._

_"You kissed me back", Lucas replied dropping his hand from his still throbbing cheek._

_"Of course I kissed you back, I probably always will, but you shouldn't take advantage of that."_

_"I'm sor..."_

_"You apologise and I'll slap you again," she said glaring at him._

_Holding his hands up in surrender Lucas sighed, "Fine you don't want to hear it... but eventually you'll hear me out."_

_Laughing hollowly Peyton shook her head sadly, "You know you amaze me."_

_"What do you mean", he questioned._

_"You say you want me, and need me... but in the last three conversations we've had, you never once said you loved me. I tell you openly how I feel, but you never seem to respond at all."_

_"Peyt..." he began._

_Holding her hand up, Peyton looked at him, as she began to turn away, "I know you came home and everything, but maybe you should consider this... I'll listen to you when you work out what you want. Do you want me because you love me... or do you want me because you know I love you". Walking away, she faltered as he spoke again._

_"What do you mean", he called._

_"The fact that you even need to ask me that pretty much answers my question", she said turning her gaze back to him, with a sigh, she said her final piece, "I'll be seeing you Lucas Scott."_

_Watching her walk away, Lucas frowned at her words. Why did that last piece of conversation sound an awful lot like... goodbye._

xx

__

Stop, Stop haunting me  
It should be easy  
As easy as when you stopped wanting me... there

xx

**A/N: Wow, okay, so small thing about the next update, after Sunday I won't be updating for two weeks, due to not being near a computer, so I'm going to try and put the next chapter up before I go... providing nothing goes wrong.**

**Next time: Lucas and Peyton both receive some advice... Lucas tries a new approach.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	11. I still care for you

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and I promise there will be less arguments and depressive moments from now on. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing owned. Song by Ray LaMontagne.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I STILL CARE FOR YOU**

**xx**

_Hear me out  
Day follows day  
Light turns to  
clay in my hands_

_How to explain,  
So pristine the pain  
Kindness made  
the cut so  
clean_

_I still care for you_

xx

_Clap... Clap... Clap..._

The noise echoed loudly in the air, and Lucas rolled his eyes. So much for seeking the quiet of the outdoors air. Turning quickly he sighed as he came face to face with his brother.

"What do you want Nate?" He asked tiredly.

Stopping on the edge of the court Nathan raised an eyebrow and shook his head slowly in disbelief. "How about you tell me when you are finally going to admit to yourself that everything you ever wanted is staring right at you."

"I know okay, I don't need another lecture."

Walking over to the bleachers Nathan took a seat and waited for Lucas to join him one row down. For a few moments, they let the silence surround them until Nathan spoke.

"You know I was thinking of hitting you... but it seems Peyton did a far better job then I could."

"She..."

"Stop kissing her Luke." Nathan interrupted. "It's not fair on her."

"I know..."

"You keep saying 'you know', but if you really did you'd stop screwing up every five minutes."

Not bothering to retaliate to his brother's statement Lucas simply nodded and looked away.

"Do you love her?" Nathan questioned impatiently.

"I think so". Lucas answered softly.

"That's rubbish and you know it."

"What I admitted I loved her." Lucas said throwing his hands up in frustration.

"No you said 'you think you love her', that's not a proper answer. It's a straightforward question Lucas, all you have to say is... yes... or no."

"Fine, yes I love her, are you satisfied now. She's Peyton Sawyer, I've loved her for years."

"Then why can you tell me, but whenever she says she loves you, you never respond. Have you not worked it out yet, all Peyton wants is for you to make up your mind. If you're going to break her heart Luke, then do it quickly, stop messing her around."

"You're right." Realising what he had just said, Lucas gave his brother a questioning look, "When did you get so... insightful."

"I'm married to Haley..." Nathan answered with a shrug, as if that explained everything.

"I need to find Peyton". Lucas stated standing from his seat.

Smiling Nathan stood as well blocking Lucas' path. "One thing before you go... you kiss her again when she's trying to make a point, and I will hit you".

"I think she can take care of that, anyway I learned my lesson earlier." Lucas answered raising a hand to his still aching cheek.

"Good."

With that, Nathan stepped aside, and Lucas made his way to his car. He was on a mission and this time he was not going to let her walk away... but first he needed to pick something up.

_xx_

_Can't you see  
What you mean to me?  
(even promises may bleed)_

_xx_

"You did hit him." Brooke exclaimed.

"He kissed me..." Peyton answered quickly.

"Are you sure you didn't just want to hit him... cause if I was you, I would want to slap him."

"Brooke", Peyton sighed, a smile forming on her features at her friends words.

"Just tell me... did it feel good." Brooke asked as she leant back against the headboard.

"The slap or the kiss." At the raised eyebrow from Brooke, Peyton shrugged, "I never know with you."

"Well Honey, I was talking about the slap, but by the sounds of it the kiss was pretty good too."

"Okay this conversation is over." Peyton said crossing her arms over her bent knees. Looking beside her at her friend, she smiled, "but thanks for cheering me up."

"Anytime... that's why I'm here."

"I'm starting to think it is."

The two had been there for half an hour as Brooke just listened to all of Peyton's fears. There had been tears and finally when Peyton had stopped crying, Brooke had tried to cheer her up. Thankfully it had worked.

Leaning slightly, Peyton nudged her friends arm with her own. "At least the party was a success."

"Yeah it turned out okay... we even had in-house entertainment." At Peyton's look, Brooke held her hands up in surrender, "I was talking about Nathan's incident with the door."

"Sorry I'm just a little..."

"Annoyed, tortured, upset, moody..." Brooke provided.

"I was going to go with tired, but thanks for telling me all my faults."

"No problem, that is another reason I'm here."

"Well when you put it like that". Peyton said rolling her eyes, then beginning to laugh.

A knock on the front door echoed out, causing Brooke to sigh.

"Please let it be someone nice".

"We aren't going to find out sitting in here". Peyton exclaimed making a move to stand from the bed, but was pulled back suddenly by her friend.

"Sit... Stay…" Brooke ordered as she stood.

"Would you like me to bark as well", Peyton said as she was made to sit back down.

"If it makes you happy". Brooke answered, laughing as she stepped out of the way of Peyton's arm as it swung towards her.

Another ring rang out and Peyton looked towards the door with a raised eyebrow, "You might want to get that then".

"I'm going... wow you're pushy." Brooke said as she left the room and made her way to the front door. Swinging it open, she took one look at the person on the other side and began to close it again. Unfortunately a foot placed knowingly on the inside had the door halting its movement, and with a sigh she glared at the intruder.

"What do you want Lucas?"

Straightening himself up he moved forward, "I need to see her?"

"Oh no... You had your chance and you blew it. Now do you mind, you're causing a draft." Brooke stated lifting her hand and moving him back slightly.

Shaking her off, Lucas shook his head in defiance, "I'm not leaving Brooke, and if I have to I'll stay out here all night."

"Go home Luke", she pleaded. "Peyton doesn't want to see you right now".

"Please".

"Lucas, what do you want me to do... betray my best friend by letting you in, even though I know she's not ready to talk to you yet."

"Fine... I guess I deserve her avoiding me. Okay look can you at least do something for me", he asked quietly.

"What?" she said against her better judgement. After all, she was not letting him inside, so how bad could the thing he wants be.

"Could you..." trailing off he held out a rectangle parcel wrapped in brown paper, and a letter taped neatly on top. Breathing in deeply he finished, "Could you just give this to her?"

"Why, it's nothing that's going to break her heart again is it?"

"No... No, it's nothing like that. I would never do that to her again. Brooke please, I just need her to have this."

Sighing, Brooke took the package. "Don't make me regret doing this Lucas," she said softly as she closed the door, not bothering to wait for a reply. Making her way back to the bedroom she opened the door, smiling at her friend.

"What did he want?" Peyton said from her position by the window.

"Well seeing as you know he was here, you probably already know the answer to that."

"Yeah. Did he say what it was", she asked nodding to the package as Brooke handed it over.

"No... Just that he needed you to have it."

"Oh, okay", Peyton, replied as she turned the parcel over in her hands.

Seeing the thoughtful look on her friend's face Brooke rubbed Peyton's arm soothingly, smiling gently, "I'll leave you alone for a bit, I'm only in the lounge if you need me."

Nodding Peyton moved to the bed and sat down, leaning back against the headboard. Not noticing Brooke leave she placed the parcel on the bed before her. There she sat for fifteen minutes in silent contemplation as she stared at the object in front.

Part of her wanted to open it, but she could not help the feeling that once she did she was giving into him. He would win this silent war they were competing in. Shaking her head at the thought, she noted something... this was their lives, they did have a choice as to whether they continued this cycle.

She still loved him, and she was curious as to what was hidden inside the parcel he had given her. After all, she could, if she wanted, deny seeing what hid within the brown paper.

Her decision made, she leant forward and un-taped the letter from the rest of the package, before moving backwards. Turning the letter over slowly she noticed there was no name on the envelope it was completely blank.

Biting her bottom lip, thoughtfully, she slowly undid the flap and pulled out a single piece of paper from inside. Unfolding it, she let her eyes roam over the words that filled the sheet. Starting from the top she slowly began to read, making sure to take in every detail.

_- Peyton -_

_This may seem like a coward's way to tell you everything I have wanted to say for months, but unfortunately, I knew Brooke would never let me past the front door. Therefore, I put everything I was going to tell you onto paper. Obviously if you are reading this then I was right... she is an amazing friend to you Peyton, and I only wish I were one of the people you could turn to._

_Now I know you are angry with me for leaving Tree Hill, but I really did think it was what you wanted. I needed to get away so I could learn to be the man you need, the one you deserve. __Your angry and probably want nothing more to do with me. For that, I can never blame you; in fact, I hate myself for what I have done._

_I threw away your love in that hotel room. I was insecure and selfish and I wish I could turn back time, but I cannot. All I have is my words, and all I can do is keep apologizing. __I know you do not want to hear it but I just want you to know that I will always regret hurting you._

_You said the other day that you were always the one fighting for 'us'. You were right, but I was not lying when I told you I have loved you since I was a child. I can still remember trying so hard to get you to talk to me. You were angry and in pain and I vowed that I would protect you. I wanted to be the one to save you._

_However, all I have done is break you. _

_So I need you to know that I did love you, with everything I had, and that is why I wanted to marry you. I was so scared of losing you, that I never realised it was me pushing you away. I would give anything to go back and stay with you in that room. _

_For years you were the one... you still are. You are it for me Peyton and I'm sorry I cannot tell you all this to your face, but for once I'm trying to do what you want. I've always been selfish when it comes to you, and somehow I've always managed to ignore what you wanted._

_When you came home, I wanted nothing more then to hold you on that river court. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg you to forgive me for leaving you. Once again, my pride stopped me. It hurt letting you go, but I never realised it would hurt more to see you again... and not have you._

_I should never have proposed to Lindsey, it was an accident, but I was trying to not let you in, and I'm sorry. I thought that if I told you how I felt... how I really felt, I would break you again. Instead, I let you fall and was not there to catch you._

_So please, hate me all you want, I cannot blame you for that, just do not ever regret loving me. Because you saved me, and I do not think I ever thanked you for that. You made me a better man Peyton Sawyer and to me you will always be the keeper of heart._

_The night we kissed in Tric, you asked me if I could still feel it. Of course, I could, I always will. I can feel you Peyton. You are in my heart, my soul and the feelings I have for you suffocate me, but I would never give that feeling up._

_You wanted me to answer your question from earlier, and it is both choices. Despite what you think, I was not lying when I wrote my novel. I will always love you, but I also want you because you love me. _

_It is the one thing that gets me through the day, the fact that the woman I love so completely returns my feelings. _

_As for the other two times I've kissed you, I wish I could apologize for them, but I cannot. Yes, they could have been in better circumstances, but I will never say sorry for wanting to kiss you. You make me do crazy things Peyton Sawyer, but then again that is what people do when they are in love._

_I know you say that people always leave, but this time I came back... I came back here for you, and if you will not allow me to love you, then at least know this... I'm never leaving you again Peyton. I'm here to stay in your life, whether you want me or not, and I promise you I will be here until you make a decision._

_It is your turn now... can you ever give me another chance? I hope the answer is yes, but if you choose no, then I will still be here for you, even if you want to move on. You watched me for months with another person, I'm sure I can do the same, as long as the decision you make, makes you happy... because that's all I want._

_I love you Peyton Sawyer, I'm in love with you, and I will always love you._

_After all, we're - True love always._

_Forever yours_

_Lucas_

Gasping, she dropped the letter to the bed and lifted her hands to her face. Her shoulders shook as the tears coursed rapidly down her face. She could not process it, he loved her. Lucas Scott actually came to her for once, well, in a way, but it was better then nothing.

Minutes passed, as the only sound in the room was her sobbing. Finally, her tears began to dry, and she slowly gained control over her breathing. Reaching for a tissue from the bedside table, she wiped her eyes gently, so she looked less of a state.

As she leant back against the headboard, she looked down and noticed the package that still sat on the bed. Deciding to just jump in without thinking it through for once, she lifted the parcel up and ripped the paper open. Frowning as she noted the manuscript that was hidden within. That was definately unexpected.

It was his novel, but not 'Ravens'. This was a different story, a new one. 'The Comet', that was what it was called. Wondering whether it held a deeper meaning she slowly turned the first page, coming across the dedication.

_To all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love... and for Peyton, who found my soul and showed me what it was to be in love and be loved._

The intensity of the words he had written struck a chord deep within her. She recalled a quote that sometimes, 'people wrote what they could not speak'. That was what this was, a written confession, if only she had let him talk to her before. No, that would not have worked, because knowing him he was only just now admitting how he felt.

Her fingers itched to reach across for the phone. She wanted to call him, make him come here and explain himself. Shaking her head, she rid the thought from her mind, concentrating her gaze back onto the written pages in her lap. She would wait for him to come to her, because that would show whether he meant his words. She was tired of chasing after him; it was time he did the fighting.

Turning the next page, she began to read the words he had written. She stayed there for hours, carefully going over every meaning he had conveyed and absorbing each one.

She laughed, she cried, she even became angry at one part. It truly was a beautiful story, about love, and wanting... It was about them. She knew it was not her being arrogant or self-absorbed, but it was fact.

He was the boy, and she was the comet.

The entire hidden concept was amazing and with each word she read, she felt herself growing closer to him somehow, after all he had written this once she had come home. Maybe he was telling the truth in his letter to her.

Brooke had come in to check on her earlier, but left once again when she realised her friend was okay. Thankful for the lack of intrusion, it meant that she reached the final sentence just after midnight.

Closing the cover, she ran her hands delicately over the top page. The tear tracks on her cheeks still visible and she wiped them away slowly. Once again, her fingers itched to reach for the phone, and this time she gave into the urge.

Placing the receiver against her ear, she heard the phone begin to ring.

_One ring... two rings... three rings..._

_"Hello... Hello... Peyton... is that you."_

Smiling as she heard the hope in his voice at the thought that it might be her calling, she spoke, deciding to put him out of his misery. She knew that one; simple sentence would convey everything he had been asking for in his letter.

"Next time you want to apologise Luke... I promise I'll listen."

Not waiting for a reply, she placed the phone back in its cradle, then laid back so her head rested on the pillow. With the sheets pulled up to cover her, she stared at the ceiling, a small smile forming on her lips.

For the first time in years, she felt that maybe he had not been lying in his first novel, and as she began to drift to sleep the final line echoed around her head.

_'I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.'_

xx

_The hours grow  
Heavy,  
And hollow,  
_

_Open me and  
You'll find  
Only bones  
burned to glass._

_I still care for you._

**xx**

**A/N: So I hope I have not lost anyone with the lack of happy Leyton scenes, but as promised at the start, a slightly less depressing chapter. As I said in the last update, I cannot promise an update before I leave on Sunday, so please don't be annoyed if there is not one for two weeks.**

**Let me know what you think.**


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